Saturday 30 December 2017

Three important lessons you learn after losing your mother

It is not easy to accept that death is a foreseeable part of the human life. Most people are afraid of it, whether it takes away their loved ones or pets. People are scared of leaving this world and meeting the unknown. In fact, most of us find it difficult to accept this inevitable stage of life. Death is particularly painful if it takes away a mother. One blogger decided to write about the three lessons she has learned since her mother died. She said that her mother’s death was caused by ovarian cancer when the blogger was still a small kid.

The blogger is now in her late thirties and has been thinking about her loss over the years. She has spent most of her years without her mom and she still misses her.

Lesson #1
According to the blogger, grief is a nonlinear feeling. It does not peak as soon as a person dies and gradually disappear over time. The truth is that it may never disappear.

She also said that grief is a natural phenomenon, but individuals experience it differently. It manifests in the form of rage, sadness, fear, guilt, or even peace. According to her, grief is an unpredictable feeling that may make you feel exhausted.

The blogger also said that she could not stop crying after her mother’s death. She shed tears at the funeral and at her school choir. However, she didn’t cry much in the subsequent years.

Nonetheless, sadness hit her like countless bricks in her early twenties.

She broke down when a good friend asked her about her mother because she had not shared her story with other people apart from her family members. However, she described the situation as “a good release” after going through several stages of grief over the years.

The blogger also talked about the most difficult days of her life. She mentioned Mother’s Day and the day she went to choose her wedding dress.

According to her, she grieves because she loved so deeply. She said that she has learned to adjust to her emotions and acknowledge the affection, pain, and loss.

Lesson #2
She also realized that you cannot replace someone who has died. She learned that no one can take the place of a mother, but she has learned to deal with her feeling by focusing on specific qualities.

She said that her mother was warm, radiant, considerate, kind, sensible, humorous, and strong. These are the qualities she has been looking for over the years.

She also said that some of the people she has met have some of these qualities, but they cannot be compared to her mother. According to her, it is impossible to replace most of her mother’s qualities.

Lesson #3
She also learned that some people care about her and these include her father, cousins, friends, and members of the extended family. These people have been there during her sorrowful moments since her mother’s death.

She realized that some people loved her while other people needed love.

According to the blogger, we live in a big world, but the world is also small because of the technology we are using today. She said that we can easily reach out to other people across the world.

She finally acknowledged our mothers for being the first people to show us true love and asked people to honor their mothers and share that love wherever possible.

(Source: Small Joys)

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