American parents are way too focused on their kids’ self-esteem

 Our over-the-top efforts to ensure that kids feel valued and adored can actually make them feel inept.

For two kids who share so much of their DNA, my children couldn’t be more different in their displays of self-confidence. My 7-year-old recently got toothpaste on her dress while brushing her teeth, and in response, she burst into tears, dropped to the floor, and rolled around screaming, “I’m the worst person ever!” My 10-year-old, however, acts as though his knowledge already surpasses that of Albert Einstein. Whenever we point out that he’s wrong about something, he disagrees, as if the number of moons orbiting Jupiter is a matter of opinion. Sometimes I wonder if my daughter’s self-esteem is too low and my son’s is too high. How important is having the right amount of self-esteem? Does the right amount even exist?

As an American parent, I’ve always assumed that having a healthy amount of self-esteem is crucial for my kids’ well-being. Once that’s secure, the thinking goes, everything else will just fall into place. This idea is such a given that when I was researching my book, How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes, one of my good friends—also a parenting journalist—advised me to make my first chapter about self-esteem.

But as I dug into the research, I learned that many American parents have been woefully overvaluing and misunderstanding the concept. Having healthy self-esteem does not ensure that kids will fare well or stay out of trouble. And although self-esteem is a tricky concept to study, research suggests that the steps parents take to foster self-esteem in their kids often have the paradoxical effect of undermining it. Our over-the-top efforts to ensure that kids feel valued and adored can actually make them feel inept—whereas intentionally exposing our kids to disappointment and failure, which so many parents are loath to do, can give children a satisfying sense of self-efficacy.

Christopher Anderson / Magnum

For decades, Americans have been a little obsessed with the concept of self-esteem, a measure of how much confidence and value people feel they have. In 1986, the governor of California, George Deukmejian, signed legislation that created the Task Force to Promote Self-Esteem and Personal and Social Responsibility, which concluded that boosting Californians’ collective levels of self-esteem would lower rates of crime, teen pregnancy, drug abuse, welfare dependency, and school underachievement. The task force’s final report referred to self-esteem as a “social vaccine” that is “central to most of the personal and social problems that plague human life in today’s world.”

That’s a bold statement, based on a bold assumption that the U.S. is suffering from an ongoing epidemic of low self-esteem, and that this deficiency is dangerous. You’ve probably heard that teens with low self-esteem are more likely than other kids to be depressed, to be anxious, to drink, to do drugs, and to commit crimes. This is all true. But what might come as a surprise is that the inverse of this statement is not also true. High self-esteem is not a panacea against all things bad, and kids with high self-esteem often make bad choices too.

“It’s unclear, actually, just how important self-esteem may be in terms of predicting healthy outcomes,” says Grace Cho, a developmental psychologist at St. Olaf College, in Minnesota, and the co-author of Self-Esteem in Time and Place: How American Families Imagine, Enact, and Personalize a Cultural Ideal. “The literature is actually really kind of messy and mixed.” In an exhaustive review of the research literature, the Florida State University social psychologist Roy F. Baumeister and his colleagues concluded that “raising self-esteem will not by itself make young people perform better in school, obey the law, stay out of trouble, get along better with their fellows, or respect the rights of others.”

Healthy self-esteem cannot be universally essential for another reason too: It is largely an American construct. Many other countries, including Japan and China, do not give self-esteem much, if any, consideration (some languages don’t even have a word for it). “Even in very modern societies, cultures that we think are very similar to ours don’t necessarily view self-esteem with the same set of ideals that we do,” Cho told me.

America’s obsession with self-esteem makes evaluating and encouraging it difficult and messy. U.S. parents often have a hard time estimating how much self-esteem their children have. “It’s a really complex construct in our day-to-day lives,” Chris Barry, a developmental psychologist at Washington State University, told me. For instance, some American kids (and adults) with low self-esteem outwardly project confidence in an attempt to appear self-confident. On top of that, parents tend to overestimate their children’s self-esteem—perhaps both because kids are adept at hiding their issues, and because parents assume that healthy self-esteem is crucial and desperately want to believe their kids are doing fine.

Parents also try to boost their kids’ sense of self-worth in the wrong way, through effusive praise. One survey found that 87 percent of U.S. parents believe that children need praise to feel good about themselves. But research conducted by Eddie Brummelman, a psychologist at the University of Amsterdam, suggests that praise can sometimes have the opposite effect. When parents give kids with low self-esteem what he calls “inflated” praise—such as saying “Oh, that is incredibly gorgeous!” to a kid who just made a stick-figure drawing—their self-esteem drops even more. Brummelman theorizes that when kids with low self-esteem hear inflated praise, they interpret it as pressure to continue performing exceptionally. They then launch into self-protection mode and end up doubting their ability more. (On the flip side, other research suggests that when we make our kids feel like the center of the universe all the time, we also increase the chance that they will grow up to become narcissists.)

Praising kids specifically for their ability or smarts—which parents do when they say things like “You’re so smart!” or “You’re such a great artist!”—can also pose problems. Research by the Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck has shown that this kind of praise, compared with praising kids for their effort, increases the chance that kids will buckle in the face of setbacks and have deflated feelings of self-worth. They begin to question the ability they were told they had. Over time, they come to think of ability as a fixed trait—not something that can be cultivated with practice.

American parents today are also quick to protect their kids from disappointment and failure. We give participation trophies when kids don’t win first place; we fly into the school to deliver kids’ forgotten homework. But these well-meaning interventions backfire because a child with healthy self-esteem is a child who has learned, through experience, that he can overcome obstacles and disappointment. He’s had the opportunity to fail and has discovered that failing doesn’t preclude him from being loved.

When I asked Dario Cvencek, a cognitive psychologist at the University of Washington Institute for Learning and Brain Sciences who studies self-esteem, to describe to me what children with healthy self-esteem act like, he said that they’re often kids who are willing to accept a new challenge or work longer on challenging tasks. Perhaps that’s because they have had to do so before, and they have learned that perseverance through disappointment pays off. Martin Seligman, the director of the University of Pennsylvania’s Positive Psychology Center, has argued that “by cushioning feeling bad, it has made it harder for our children to feel good.”

What should parents do to foster healthy self-esteem in their kids? We should stop obsessing over the concept, because it is probably not the be-all and end-all that we think it is. According to Cho, research has shown, for instance, that many East Asian children score low on traditional self-esteem measures, but that they rarely suffer from psychological problems or do poorly in school as a result. This suggests that “self-esteem is just one thing in a myriad of practices that parents can engage in that could help children thrive,” Cho said. We’re not going to ruin our kids by not focusing on it—and we might even help them, given that our approaches for boosting self-esteem are often counterproductive.

We should also be careful about showering our children with indiscriminate praise. Instead, we should be more honest in our appraisals—not by shaming kids or putting them down, but by giving them feedback that is commensurate with their effort. Tell your kid that you like their off-key singing, but don’t tell them it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard. When we praise our kids, we should encourage their efforts, rather than celebrate them for their achievements, abilities, or smarts. And we should let them experience hardships. When kids face adversity and get through it, they learn that they are loved unconditionally and that failure is not a sign of ineptitude, but an opportunity to learn, grow, and come to believe in themselves.

This post is adapted from Wenner Moyer’s recent book, How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes.

(Source: The Atlantic)

Mahatma Gandhi disagreed with Rabindranath Tagore on many things. Here’s where they agreed

 An excerpt from ‘Tagore and Gandhi: Walking Alone, Walking Together’, by Rudrangshu Mukherjee.

In spite of the divergence in their philosophical and spiritual perspectives, there were some fundamental issues on which they were in complete agreement. These are no less important. One was their commitment to service which was at the core of what Rabindranath, in his first letter to Gandhi, referred to as their common sadhana. Gandhi embodied service to the people. This was his calling, his life. He could thus say towards the end of his life, “My life is my message.” He made dedicated service for the common people a “talisman” for decisions, policies, etc.:

“I will give you a talisman. Whenever you are in doubt, or when the self becomes too much with you, apply the following test. Recall the face of the poorest and the weakest man whom you may have seen, and ask yourself if the step you contemplate is going to be of any use to him. Will he gain anything by it? Will it restore him to a control over his own life and destiny? In other words, will it lead to swaraj for the hungry and spiritually starving millions? Then you will find your doubts and yourself melting away.”

Gandhi’s commitment to service is so well known, it does not need any reiteration, but Rabindranath’s work in this sphere is less noticed as he is seen more as a creative artist.

Rabindranath Tagore and Mahatma Gandhi.

From the time he began touring parts of the Bengal countryside to look after his family’s landed estates, he became concerned and then involved with the welfare of the people who lived in the villages. He wrote about these problems in his essays [...L]ater on in his life he devoted himself to the welfare and the development of villages around Santiniketan. His aim was to structure the economy of these villages to make the people self-reliant in an environment whose principle would not be self-interest but co-operation. He wrote:

“The symptoms of our miseries cannot be removed from the outside, their causes must be extirpated from within. If we wish to do this, we must undertake two tasks; first to educate everyone in the land, so as to unite them mentally with all the world...Secondly, to unite them among themselves in the sphere of their livelihood, so as to bring about their union with the world through their work.”

Rabindranath’s concern and dedication to service to the poor was reflected in his creative work – especially his short stories and in some of his novels. Witness Gora’s restless endeavour to work among and for the poor; and also the depiction of the character of Jethamoshai (uncle) in the novel Chaturanga.

For both Gandhi and Rabindranath, the dedication to service for the poor was integrally connected to their vision of swaraj. Neither of them understood swaraj as mere political freedom from British rule. This political freedom was to be complemented by the emancipation of human beings.

What constituted this dimension of swaraj? It was constituted by the ability and the empowerment of individuals to regulate and run their own lives independent of external institutions like the state. Individuals should have the strength to fearlessly conduct their own daily lives. Gandhi emphasised abhaya (fearlessness) and Rabindranath atmashakti (soul force) – the two notions were inseparable and could only grow out of service and responsibility. Rabindranath wrote, “For India, true freedom is social freedom: the freedom to do good...”

Rabindranath expressed his vision of swaraj in a famous song which roughly translated goes as, “We are all kings in the kingdom of our king”. If everyone was sovereign, there was no necessity for a king. Gandhi approximated to the same idea through his vision of “enlightened anarchy”. He wrote in January 1939:

“Political power, in my opinion, cannot be our ultimate aim. It is one of the means used by men for their all-round advancement. The power to control national life through national representatives is called political power. 

Representatives will become unnecessary if the national life becomes so perfect as to be self-controlled. It will then be a state of enlightened anarchy in which each person will become his own ruler. He will conduct himself in such a way that his behaviour will not hamper the well-being of his neighbours. In an ideal State there will be no political institution and therefore no political power.”

Their vision of swaraj was embedded in ahimsa – another idea that converged in the sadhana of Gandhi and Rabindranath. For both of them, ahimsa represented a moral force which in India was pitched against British rule. It was, however, a moral force for the whole of humanity. Both had stood on the principle of ahimsa and had withdrawn from movements in which they had played a critical part when they saw those movements deviating from non-violence and deploying coercion and violence.

It was in one such conjuncture during the Swadeshi movement that Rabindranath had stepped aside from the movement and in great mental anguish composed that memorable song, “Ekla cholo re”. If no one answers to your call, walk alone. Gandhi made this song his life’s motto and lived it when he walked away from the Non-cooperation Movement after the violence at Chauri Chaura and then again in the last months of his life when he refused to be part of negotiations to partition India and walked away alone to Noakhali to pursue his life’s calling of service to the poor, of ahimsa, and abhaya.

Since ahimsa was one of the pillars of their lives, Rabindranath and Gandhi saw India (and the world) in terms of harmony, free from hatred of any kind, religious and racial. Their idea of India was inclusive and assimilative, and they were anguished when they saw that idea and ideal of India being ripped apart by sectarian violence.

Rabindranath was spared the tragedy of witnessing Partition and the communal violence that preceded and followed it. He had to suffer though the spectacle of global violence in the months before his death. Gandhi had to live through the violence of Partition, and according to those who knew him, was never quite the same person after that experience. He told Nirmal Bose towards the end of his life, “I don’t want to be a failure. But I may be a failure.” As an apostle of non-violence he fell a victim to violence.

Through the expressions of difference and respect for each other, Gandhi and Rabindranath set an example of debating and deliberating on public, social, and political questions. They formed a legacy of public reasoning. They debated without acrimony. This is an essential constituent of the Gandhi-Rabindranath heritage – a beacon as India walks the razor’s edge to fashion a society that is inclusive, free of bigotry and hatred, and informed by civilised discussion and discourse. Through their words and their deeds Rabindranath and Gandhi taught us to:

“...Sing with mortal voice...unchanged ...
Though fallen on evil days,
On evil days though fallen and evil tongues;
In darkness, and with dangers compast round,
And solitude; yet not alone...” 

Excerpted with permission from Tagore and Gandhi: Walking Alone, Walking Together, Rudrangshu Mukherjee, Aleph Book Company.

(Source: Scroll)

'How to Raise Kids who Aren't A**holes' — or maybe even kind

The desire to raise good people is fairly universal among adults with kids in their lives. Most of us want our kids to grow up to be kind and compassionate adults.

We mean it, we really do, but our kids often hear something else. Research from the Harvard Graduate School of Education found that 80% of youth think their parents are more interested in their children's achievement or happiness than whether or not they are caring for others.

Effectively modeling behavior you'd like your kids to adapt takes a healthy dose of intention, says author and science journalist Melinda Wenner Moyer.

In her new book "How to Raise Kids Who Aren't A**holes: Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting--from Tots to Teens," science journalist Melinda Wenner Moyer cuts through the data on the subject. She looks at research on gunplay, screen time, shyness, resilience and more, helping parents effectively send the message that kindness matters.

CNN spoke with Moyer about what we are getting right, what we're doing wrong, how to teach kindness, and why it's hard to raise a kind kid if we're not being kind ourselves.

This interview has been lightly edited and condensed for clarity.

CNN: What inspired you to write this book?

Melinda Wenner Moyer: Two and half years ago I started to get frustrated by the bad adult behavior I saw happening all around me. It made me think, what are my kids learning? Who are my kids learning from? It made me realize that what I wanted more than anything was for my kids to not grow up to be a**holes. And I realized I didn't know how to do this.

I began looking into the science about how to build character and values and was surprised by how much research there was.

CNN: Based on what you discovered, what are some of the things well-meaning adults are doing wrong when it comes to raising kind kids?

Moyer: First, I want to say that I hate to frame anything as "wrong." The last thing I want to do is shame parents or pressure parents to feel like they have to do everything right. We have a lot of leeway as parents and even when we do things that are not the most constructive, our kids will be fine.

One thing I saw come up again and again in the research is that a lot of parents avoid talking with their kids about nuanced, complicated topics like race, sex or pornography. But kids, starting from when they are little, are detectives trying to figure out how the world works. They notice a racial hierarchy, gender hierarchy and the sexual undertones, or overtones, everywhere. Disney movies have them.

Kids are being exposed to these big, nuanced issues, and if we aren't there to expose them to these issues, they will get the information elsewhere and then make assumptions that are inaccurate. It is far better to have intentional conversations on difficult topics. Even if you think they are too young, they are not, as long as you do it in an age-appropriate manner.

One more thing is how we handle our kids' feelings. We attempt to make our kids feel better when they are mad or bad or sad. We will minimize the feelings, or shame them, by saying things like "stop acting like a baby," or, for boys, "stop acting like a girl."

We do this because we want to rescue our kids from their negative feelings. Research tells us this is bad for a couple of reasons. We are telling them their feelings are wrong, and to bottle up their feelings and hide them. It doesn't help our kids learn the skills to manage them.

Also, parents tend to shame boys more for having feelings of sadness or fear because it isn't seen as masculine. But boys who have been taught to feel shame about these feelings are more likely to be aggressive as they get older.

Kindness matter is the message of Melinda Wenner Moyer's science-based book "How to Raise Kids Who Aren't A**holes."

CNN: And what might parents intuitively be doing right?

Moyer: One is modeling kindness and generosity in front of our kids. That is really good because kids learn from what we do rather than what we say.

Over the past five years, I've seen a lot more parents include kids in social movements, bringing them to protests, volunteering or encouraging them to donate their allowance money. When we include kids, we show them that it is important to care about others.

CNN: You found research connecting selflessness to success, which goes against much of what our competitive culture tells us.

Moyer: I often hear from skeptical readers who ask, "If we want our kids to succeed, isn't raising them to be kind and compassionate going to hold them back?" Our culture still tells us that to get ahead in the world, you need to be an arrogant a**hole.

There are certainly exceptions, but overall, research points to the opposite: People who are kind and compassionate are usually more successful. When you treat people well, people want to treat you well.

CNN: As I read your book, it struck me that parents can learn a lot about themselves in this process. Raising kind kids helps us think harder about how we could be kinder and what kindness means to us.

Moyer: I hope that this book inspires some self-reflection because to really model for your kids what you hope they become, you have to be pretty intentional. You have to think about what kindness means to you.

It helps to prioritize and think, "What is the most important thing for my kids to grow up and be or do?" Is it to be compassionate? To be helpful? Honest? Think about how to weave those values into your relationship with your kids.

It's important to remember that we can't do all the things all the time. Also, our priorities can change.

CNN: How do we balance our expectations for our kids and ourselves to be kind with an acceptance of our louder, angrier impulses?

Moyer: It's really important to be open and honest. It's OK for us to have big feelings; feelings are part of being human and are normal. We should accept our own big feelings, and the way we respond to situations when we are angry. That is OK. We are human and everybody makes mistakes and that is just part of life.

It is really helpful for kids to see us model that self-acceptance. It's also really good for them to see us apologize afterward, modeling the behavior we want them to do longer down the line. When we take responsibility, a lot of good can come out of our "mistakes" as parents.

(Source: CNN)

Trump called Pence a 'loser' before he joined 2016 ticket, new book claims

 Campaign officials struggled to convince president to tap then-Indiana governor, Rick Gates claims

Donald Trump was reluctant to name Mike Pence his running mate in 2016 because he thought the then-governor of Indiana was a “loser” who didn’t stand a chance to be re-elected in his own state, according to a former campaign official.

Former campaign manager Paul Manafort had suggested Mr Pence as the vice presidential candidate on the ticket, but then-candidate Trump “wanted someone in his mind who was a winner,” according to Mr Manafort’s deputy Rick Gates, whose book Wicked Game: An Insider’s Story on How Trump Won, Mueller Failed and America Lost is set to be published this month.

Mr Gates, in an interview with the Yahoo News podcast Skullduggery, said that Mr Trump had initially suggested his daughter Ivanka Trump as his running mate.

“The important assets to him are family, trust and loyalty,” Mr Gates told Yahoo News.

His children become more engaged with the campaign and attended nearly "every meeting” as the campaign progressed, he said.

Other running-mate suggestions came from within the president’s inner circle and familiar GOP figures who aligned with the president.

Mr Trump, who was provided a list of potential candidates, soured at the idea of tapping Governor Pence, as polling data from the 2016 gubernatorial race revealed that the incumbent was down by 10 points.

Then-candidate Trump “didn’t think he had a chance to win the governor’s race,” Mr Gates told Yahoo News, "which is why he used the term ‘loser,' which he has used with many people, as we know.”

Instead he wanted “someone in his mind who was a winner,” he said.

“Why would I want a guy like that to be my VP?” Mr Trump said, according to Mr Gates’ book.

Following White House turbulence after several positive coronavirus diagnoses among Republican officials, including the president and First Lady Melania Trump, Mr Pence – second in line for the presidency if Mr Trump is not able to serve – has emerged from the president’s shadow into highly scrutinised spotlight of his own.

Should the president win re-election, Mr Pence could face the prospect of a White House run by 74-year-old Trump recovering from the disease and its longer-term impacts.

Mr Pence is set to debate Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden’s running mate Kamala Harris on 7 October.

The campaign had struggled to convince Mr Trump to choose the Indiana governor, made more difficult with Mr Pence endorsing Texas Senator Ted Cruz in the Republican primaries.

Mr Gates and Mr Manafort argued that Mr Pence’s candidacy would anchor Mr Trump’s support in the Midwest and avoid the limelight, unlike two other potential running mates under consideration – New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and former House Speaker Newt Gingrich.

Mr Manafort had tried to convince the candidate that his running mate should be “someone different from him, ” Mr Gates said.

“When we told him the role of a vice president and what they’re really supposed to do … we told him the vice president is the pitbull,” said Mr Gates, adding that the VP should serve as a “hatchet candidate” to argue with opponents to insulate the president from criticism.

But Mr Trump “is that individual," Mr Gates said.

According to Mr Gates, Mr Manafort told Mr Trump: "Why would you want someone like you as your VP? You are the hatchet guy."

“It resonated,” Mr Gates said.

Mr Gates also worked under Mr Manafort while he served as a consultant for the Party of Regions in Ukraine. Both men were indicted by special counsel Robert Mueller for campaign finance crimes and failure to register as foreign agents during 2016 elections, to which Mr Gates pleaded guilty and served as a cooperating state’s witness in Roger Stone’s trial.

Mr Manafort pleaded guilty to conspiracy to defraud the US and witness tampering as part of a plea deal and was released from prison in May 2020 to serve the remainder of his sentence in home confinement.

(Source: The Independent)

Looted landmarks: how Notre-Dame, Big Ben and St Mark's were stolen from the east

They are beacons of western civilisation. But, says an explosive new book, the designs of Europe’s greatest buildings were plundered from the Islamic world – twin towers, rose windows, vaulted ceilings and all

As Notre-Dame cathedral was engulfed by flames last year, thousands bewailed the loss of this great beacon of western civilisation. The ultimate symbol of French cultural identity, the very heart of the nation, was going up in smoke. But Middle East expert Diana Darke was having different thoughts. She knew that the origins of this majestic gothic pile lay not in the pure annals of European Christian history, as many have always assumed, but in the mountainous deserts of Syria, in a village just west of Aleppo to be precise.

“Notre-Dame’s architectural design, like all gothic cathedrals in Europe, comes directly from Syria’s Qalb Lozeh fifth-century church,” Darke tweeted on the morning of 16 April, as the dust was still settling in Paris. “Crusaders brought the ‘twin tower flanking the rose window’ concept back to Europe in the 12th century.”

Twin towers flanking a monumental arched entrance … the remains of Qalb Lozeh church in Syria, the inspiration behind Notre-Dame. Photograph: Bertramz

It is not only the twin towers and rose window that have their origins in the Middle East, she pointed out, but also the ribbed vaults, pointed arches and even the recipe for stained glass windows. Gothic architecture as we know it owes much more to Arab and Islamic heritage than it does to the rampaging Goths. “I was astonished at the reaction,” says Darke. “I thought more people knew, but there seems to be this great gulf of ignorance about the history of cultural appropriation. Against a backdrop of rising Islamophobia, I thought it was about time someone straightened out the narrative.”

And so she has, with Stealing from the Saracens, an exhilarating, meticulously researched book that sheds light on centuries of borrowing, tracing the roots of Europe’s major buildings – from the Houses of Parliament and Westminster Abbey to Chartres cathedral and St Mark’s basilica in Venice – back to their Middle Eastern precedents. It is as much a story of political power, wealth and fashion as it is of religious belief, with tales of looting Crusaders, fashion-conscious bishops and globe-trotting merchants discovering new styles and techniques and bringing them home.

“Now we have this notion of east and west,” says Darke. “But back then, it wasn’t like that. There were huge cultural exchanges - and most came from the east to the west. Very little went the other way.”

Masterpiece of geometry … the exquisite interior of Córdoba’s mosque-cathedral. Photograph: Ingo Mehling

Given their prevalence in the great cathedrals of Europe, it is easy to imagine that pointed stone arches and soaring ribbed vaults are Christian in origin. But the former dates back to a seventh-century Islamic shrine in Jerusalem, while the latter began in a 10th-century mosque in Andalucia, Spain. In fact, that first known example of ribbed vaulting is still standing. Visitors to the Cordoba Mezquita can marvel at its multiple arches intersecting in a masterpiece of practical geometry and decorative structure, never needing a repair in its thousand-year existence. The vaulted maqsura – the part of the mosque reserved for the ruling caliph – was designed to cast a sacred glow across the leader. However, the official leaflet will tell you little of the building’s Islamic origin, perhaps because it has been a Catholic church since 1236.

The pointed arch, meanwhile, was a pragmatic solution to a problem encountered by masons working on the Dome of the Rock in Jerusalem. One of the holiest sites in the Muslim world, it was built in 691 by the ruler of Islam’s first empire. The challenge was how to line up an outer arcade of rounded arches with a smaller inner arcade, while maintaining a horizontal ceiling between them. For the openings to align, the masons had to give the inner arcade tighter arches, forcing them to become pointed. Another world first can be spotted higher up in the shrine, where encircling the dome is an arcade of trefoil arches, the three-lobed style of arch that went on to encrust practically every European cathedral, voraciously adopted as a symbol of the Holy Trinity.

Looks familiar? … from left, the interior of Jerusalem’s Dome of the Rock, and Temple Church in London. Composite: Virtutepetens/Getty Images/iStockphoto

“Again and again,” says Darke, “I am so struck by how much of this stuff that we think of as essentially Christian and European was based on ignorance and misinterpretation of much earlier Islamic forms.” She points out that the enormous influence of the Dome of the Rock was down to the Crusaders of the Middle Ages mistakenly thinking the building was the Temple of Solomon.

They used the domed, circular layout of this supposedly Christian shrine as the model for their Templar churches (like the City of London’s round Temple church), even copying the decorative Arabic inscription, which openly chastises Christians for believing in the Trinity rather than in the oneness of God. Their pseudo-Kufic calligraphic patterns went on to adorn French cathedral stonework and the borders of richly woven textiles, with no one aware of what they actually meant.

The confusion was spread further by the first printed map of Jerusalem, published in Mainz, Germany, in 1486. It not only mislabels the Dome of the Rock as the Temple of Solomon, but depicts the building with a fine onion dome – a pure orientalist fantasy from the mind of a Dutch woodcut artist named Erhard Reeuwich. The book containing the map became a bestseller, reprinted 13 times and translated into multiple languages, influencing the spread of onion-domed churches across Europe in the 16th century. It is a tale of mistaken identity and unintended consequence worthy of a Monty Python sketch.

More Arab than European … Jerusalem’s Dome of the Rock, left, and St Mark’s basilica in Venice. Composite: Godot13/Zairon

The transfer of Islamic motifs to the west wasn’t always so simple, though. The pointed arch took a more circuitous route. Darke traces how the arches first spread to Cairo, becoming sharper and more pointed under the Abbasid empire, and were in turn admired by visiting merchants from the wealthy Italian port of Amalfi, who channelled discoveries from their travels into their eclectic 10th-century basilica. This exotic building caught the eye of Abbot Desiderius, who visited Amalfi in 1065 on a shopping trip for rare luxury merchandise, and decided to take the pointed window design for his monastery at Monte Cassino.

Those windows were then copied for the Benedictine abbey at Cluny in France, the largest church in the world at the time. Abbot Suger, an adviser to kings Louis VI and VII, liked how the windows let in more light, and immediately applied the same design to his Saint-Denis basilica in Paris. Regarded as the earliest fully gothic structure, the basilica was completed in 1144 and its architect went on to work at Notre-Dame. “They all just copied it,” says Darke. “These were the most powerful churches in Europe, so the style completely took off, as all fashions do. When powerful people adopt something, everyone wants one.”

The list goes on. There are the early square minarets, found on such buildings as the Great Mosque of Damascus, that taper thinner and are crowned with a bulbous finial dome. These inspired such great Italian towers as those of Florence’s town hall and St Mark’s Campanile in Venice, prefiguring centuries of church bell-towers.

Borrowed time … from left, the now destroyed minaret of the Great Mosque in Aleppo, Syria; and Big Ben in London. Composite: Alamy/Getty Images/Dorling Kindersley

Drawing on architectural historian Deborah Howard’s research, Darke shows Venice to be more Arab than European, from its narrow winding passageways and courtyard homes with rooftop terraces, to the Islamic ornamentation of the Doge’s Palace (modelled on Al-Aqsa Mosque in Jerusalem) and the onion domes of St Mark’s. All are the fruit of trips made by Venetian merchants to Egypt, Syria, Palestine and Persia, fostering a level of influence that extended even to fashion: women in Venice were veiled in public and dressed in black from head to toe. “One cannot see their faces for all the world,” a 15th-century source commented. “They go about so completely covered up, that I do not know how they can see to go along the street.”

The book comes at a charged time, when supposedly western architecture is being mobilised by right-wing nationalist groups to bolster their idealised vision of a “pure” European identity. There are now countless social media accounts promoting messages of white supremacy disguised as heritage appreciation, while recent government edicts about tradition and beauty carry similar overtones. Darke’s work takes an eloquent sledgehammer to such ignorant, dog-whistle propaganda, revealing how the monuments idealised by the alt-right have their roots in the very culture of which they are so suspicious.

The ignorance is widespread, and perhaps the most surprising thing in Stealing from the Saracens is how much of this should not come as a surprise to the modern reader. After all, throughout the book, Darke summons the words of Christopher Wren, who was well aware of the Middle Eastern origins of gothic architecture, and of the structural techniques he was using for St Paul’s Cathedral.

“Modern gothic,” he wrote in the 1700s, “is distinguished by the lightness of its work, by the excessive boldness of its elevations … by the delicacy, profusion and extravagant fancy of its ornaments … Such productions, so airy, cannot admit the heavy Goths for their author.” Instead, he concluded, “from all the marks of the new architecture, it can only be attributed to the Moors; or what is the same thing, to the Arabians or Saracens”.

The irony is in the name itself: in Wren’s day, Saracen was a pejorative term for the Arab Muslims, against whom the Crusaders had fought their “holy war”. It originated from the Arabic word “saraqa”, meaning “to steal”, as Saracens were seen as looters and thieves. Never mind the fact that the Crusaders plundered their way across Europe, Jerusalem and Constantinople – pilfering the wonders of Islamic architecture as they went, and airbrushing the origins of their booty in the process.

• Stealing from the Saracens: How Islamic Architecture Shaped Europe by Diana Darke is published by Hurst on 20 August.

(Source: The Guardian)

MORE rumors claim Kim Jong Un is dead: China-backed journalist claims North Korean dictator has died, Japanese report says he's in a coma - but satellite photos show his private train visited holiday home THIS WEEK

Rumors surrounding Kim Jong Un's health intensified today as Asian media outlets claimed that he had died or is currently 'gravely ill'.

The vice director of Hong Kong Satellite Television (HKSTV) Shijian Xingzou says that a 'very solid source' has told her the North Korean despot, 36, is already dead.

A top Hong Kong television director has claimed a 'very solid source' has told her that Kim Jong Un is dead. He was last seen in public on April 11 at a meeting of the Workers’ Party committee of policymakers in Pyongyang

She has 15 million followers on Chinese social media Weibo, and is also the niece of one of the country's foreign ministers.

Separately, a Japanese media outlet claims that Kim has gone into a 'vegetative state' after he underwent heart surgery earlier in the month. 

However, a 250-metre-long train belonging to the dictator has been spotted near to his Wonsan holiday compound as recently as Thursday in satellite photos

However, a 250-metre-long train belonging to the dictator has been spotted near to his Wonsan holiday compound as recently as Thursday in satellite photos, according to news website 38North.

Although Kim's whereabouts remains unknown, the train's presence at a nearby railway station reserved for the Kim family in the 'elite' area on the east coast suggests he has visited the hideaway.

The most recent photos, from April 23, show the train preparing for departure. 

The Wonsan complex includes nine large guesthouses and recreation center, as well as a shooting range and covered dock believed to be for a yacht. At the center of the grounds is a large building that was constructed shortly after Kim Jong Un came to power in 2014. 

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un pictured on December 4, 2019. The trip by the Chinese doctors and officials comes amid conflicting reports about the health of the North Korean leader

Kim’s last confirmed public appearance was two weeks ago, when he led a meeting of the ruling Workers’ Party committee of policymakers, according to North Korean state media.

China has dispatched a team to North Korea including medical experts to advise on North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, according to three people familiar with the situation.

The trip by the Chinese doctors and officials comes amid conflicting reports about the health of the North Korean leader, with western outlets unable to immediately determine what the trip by the Chinese team signalled in terms of Kim's health.  

A report by the weekly Shukan Gendai  in Japan claimed on Friday that North Korea's dictator is currently in a 'vegetative state' after having heart surgery earlier in the month. 

The outlet cited a Chinese medic who is believed to have been sent as part of the team to treat Kim Jong Un after a delay in a simple heart procedure had left the leader severely ill.

The source cited by the news outlet claimed that Jong Un was visiting the countryside when he clutched his chest and fell to the ground. A doctor with him at the time is said to have  performed CPR and accompanied him to a hospital.

However, the reporting of the deaths of previous North Korean leaders has taken time to emerge officially.

Kim Jong-il, the current leader's father, died of a heart attack while travelling by train two days before it was announced publicly.

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un (centre) visiting the construction site of the Sunchon phosphatic fertiliser factory in South Pyongan province on January 7

It is also not unusual for Kim or other North Korean officials to go weeks without public appearances.

In 2014, Kim was not seen out in public for 40 days, before he reemerged appearing to walk with a limp and using a cane, after he reportedly suffered from 'an uncomfortable medical condition'.

While there is no official proof of the dictator's death, the hashtag #KimJongUndead was trending on twitter on Friday following the report. 

A delegation led by a senior member of the Chinese Communist Party's International Liaison Department left Beijing for North Korea on Thursday, two of the people said. The department is the main Chinese body dealing with neighbouring North Korea.

The sources declined to be identified given the sensitivity of the matter. 

The Liaison Department could not be reached by Reuters for comment late on Friday. China's foreign ministry did not immediately respond to a request for comment late on Friday.

Daily NK, a Seoul-based website, reported earlier this week that Kim was recovering after undergoing a cardiovascular procedure on April 12. It cited one unnamed source in North Korea.

South Korean government officials and a Chinese official with the Liaison Department challenged subsequent reports suggesting that Kim was in grave danger after surgery. South Korean officials said they had detected no signs of unusual activity in North Korea.

On Thursday, U.S. President Donald Trump also downplayed earlier reports that Kim was gravely ill. 'I think the report was incorrect,' Trump told reporters, but he declined to say if he had been in touch with North Korean officials.

On Friday, a South Korean source told Reuters their intelligence was that Kim was alive and would likely make an appearance soon. The person said he did not have any comment on Kim's current condition or any Chinese involvement.

An official familiar with U.S. intelligence said that Kim was known to have health problems but they had no reason to conclude he was seriously ill or unable eventually to reappear in public.

US President Donald Trump and North Korea's leader Kim Jong-un stand on North Korean soil while walking to South Korea in the Demilitarized Zone on June 30, 2019 

A U.S. State department spokeswoman had no comment. U.S. Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo, when asked about Kim's health on Fox News after Trump spoke said, 'I don't have anything I can share with you tonight, but the American people should know we're watching the situation very keenly.'

North Korea is one of the world's most isolated and secretive countries, and the health of its leaders is treated as a matter of state security. Reuters has not been able to independently confirm any details on Kim's whereabouts or condition.

North Korea's state media last reported on Kim's whereabouts when he presided over a meeting on April 11. State media did not report that he was in attendance at an event to mark the birthday of his grandfather, Kim Il Sung, on April 15, an important anniversary in North Korea.

Kim, believed to be 36, has disappeared from coverage in North Korean state media before. In 2014, he vanished for more than a month and North Korean state TV later showed him walking with a limp. Speculation about his health has been fanned by his heavy smoking, apparent weight gain since taking power and family history of cardiovascular problems.

When Kim Jong Un's father, Kim Jong Il, suffered a stroke in 2008, South Korean media reported at the time that Chinese doctors were involved in his treatment along with French physicians.

Last year, Chinese President Xi Jinping made the first state visit in 14 years by a Chinese leader to North Korea, an impoverished state that depends on Beijing for economic and diplomatic support.

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un walks with his wife Ri Sol Ju at Pyongyang Station in Pyongyang, North Korea, in January last year. An official familiar with U.S. intelligence said that Kim was known to have health problems but they had no reason to conclude he was seriously ill or unable eventually to reappear in public

China is North Korea's chief ally and the economic lifeline for a country hard-hit by U.N. sanctions, and has a keen interest in the stability of the country with which it shares a long, porous border.

Kim is a third-generation hereditary leader who came to power after his father Kim Jong Il died in 2011 from a heart attack. He has visited China four times since 2018.

Trump held unprecedented summits with Kim in 2018 and 2019 as part of a bid to persuade him to give up North Korea's nuclear arsenal. 

EXCLUSIVE: Kim Jong-un sees himself as the North Korean John F. Kennedy and 'groomed' his wife Ri Sol Ju to be as fashionable and well mannered as Jackie, claims new book on the despot as questions swirl about his health 

One was a beacon of optimism in post-WWII America, the other presides over a brutal Communist regime set on building a nuclear weapon.

A new book claims that the leader of North Korea sees himself as Kennedy and his wife Ri Sol Ju as the parallel of Jackie Kennedy

But despite the differences, Kim Jong-un believes he is living in his own version of Camelot, the youthful world of John F. Kennedy.

A new book claims that the leader of North Korea sees himself as Kennedy and his wife Ri Sol Ju, with her impeccable manners and fashionable wardrobe, as the parallel of Jackie Kennedy.

Kim Jong-un believes he is living in his own version of Camelot, the youthful world of John F. Kennedy

Kim 'literally and figuratively groomed' Ri so she would look the part of First Lady, writes former CIA analyst Jung H. Pak.

She says that Kim made Ri a 'walking advertisement' for his image of North Korea as a modern, prosperous country with water parks and ski parks to reinforce that vision.

Her book 'Becoming Kim Jong-un: A Former CIA Officer's Insights into North Korea's Enigmatic Young Dictator' is out next week at a time of intense speculation over Kim's health.

Recent reports claimed that the 36-year-old was seriously ill after a heart procedure, speculation that was fanned when he failed to show up for the anniversary of North Korea's founding father Kim Il Sung, Kim's grandfather, on April 15.

Some reports have said that Kim Yo-jong, Kim's sister, could be ready to take over from him if he dies.

But that glosses over the importance of Ri in Kim's image of himself, writes Pak.

Having carried out dozens of bloody purges of his regime, Kim is only too aware of the jockeying for position within the North Korean elite.

So Ri's elevation may be a 'deliberate attempt to fend off any challengers' to his succession.

The couple have at least one child - former NBA star Dennis Rodman held one baby of theirs on a trip to Pyongyang - but they are thought to have two more.

Even in his 30s Kim is 'planning for the long haul and plotting a strategy for the duration of not just his life, but his children's life as well'.

Kim 'literally and figuratively groomed' Ri so she would look the part of First Lady, writes former CIA analyst Jung H. Pak

The comparison between the Kims and the Kennedys on the face of it seems unlikely.

The Kennedys are Massachusetts-based Democratic political dynasty while Kim's grandfather was a nationalist guerrilla who founded the hermit nation after being hand picked by the Soviets.

Becoming Kim Jong-un says that the parallel lies in how both of them project the image they want their country to be.

In the case of North Korea, Kim wanted to construct an 'alternate reality' from the truth, which is that hundreds of thousands of people are locked in gulags and labor camps.

Kim went on a building spree of amusement parks and luxury resorts to lure in Chinese tourists and distract from the repression and the poverty which makes up daily life in North Korea.

John Park, a North Korea expert at Harvard University, said: 'There's this idea of a North Korean dream and Kim Jong-un being the creator of this dream and his wife being essentially the face of this dream.

The author writes that Ri is somebody who 'provides the regime with a softer side, a thin veneer of style and good humor to mask the brutality, starvation and deprivation endured by the people'

'This type of dynamic is sort of an analogy for the future of North Korea overall'.

Nowhere is this more the case than Ri, who like Jackie Kennedy came from the elite of her society.

Ri was a former cheerleader and a member of the Unhasu Orchestra, an elite troupe handpicked by the state for their looks, loyalty and talent.

She was introduced to the world seven months after Kim took power in 2011 when she was seen with him at a concert.

From 'Comrade Ri' she soon became 'Respected First Lady' as she appeared by Kim's side more often.

What was surprising was her Western clothes and her appearance which was a striking departure from past practices.

Kim's grandfather railed against make-up and 'pretty dresses' and under his rule it was illegal for women to wear trousers when not at work.

Ri went to Beijing to meet with President Xi in March 2018 and subsequent trips to China and Chinese and South Korean media were buzzing about her wardrobe 

Ri by contrast wore on her first appearance a bright green blouse with a fitted skirt and peep toe black pumps - the Huffington Post gushed: 'She is stylist indeed!'

On another occasion watching a flight contest with officers of the Korean People's Air Force her hair was partly rolled back, her lipstick was a tasteful muted pink shade and she was wearing a blue dress and three quarter length suit with a sparkly brooch.

In a sea of men wearing suits her colorful attire was a 'dramatic contrast'.

According to Pak, Ri was 'channeling Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge' and 'evoking the storied elegance of Jackie Kennedy'.

Kim was 'literally and figuratively grooming her to be Pyongang's First Lady', the book says.

Ri's diplomatic debut was on March 5, 2018 hosting the South Korean delegation to set up the first inter-Korean summit which would occur a month later.

South Korean National Security Adviser Chung Eui-yong committed a major faux pas over dinner when he asked Kim: 'Low about you stopped smoking? It's bad for your health.

The table froze as no one criticized Kim but Ri clapped her hands and said: 'I always ask him to quit smoking but he won't listen to me'.

She defused the tension immediately and both parties moved on.

Like Jackie Kennedy, Ri is a 'glamorous and devoted wife' and a 'glimpse of an emerging material and consumer culture which Kim seems to be actively promoting,' the book claims 

Ri went to Beijing to meet with President Xi in March 2018 and subsequent trips to China.

Chinese and South Korean media were ablaze about her outfit and Chinese Internet users fawned over her so much the Communist party censored them because they were making President Xi's wife look bad.

Ri was with her husband for the inter-Korean summit the following month which laid the groundwork for Kim's historic meeting with Donald Trump, a sign of how vital she is to her husband.

Pak writes that Kim sees Ri as 'another component of his power' and she has 'personified the charm in the North Korean charm offensive'.

Ri is somebody who 'provides the regime with a softer side, a thin veneer of style and good humor to mask the brutality, starvation and deprivation endured by the people’.

Like Jackie Kennedy, Ri is a 'glamorous and devoted wife' and a 'glimpse of an emerging material and consumer culture which Kim seems to be actively promoting'.

Through her he has an 'opportunity to channel the consumerist energies of the North Korean people', the book says.

In that sense at least, she is more like Jackie Kennedy than you might think.

(Source: Daily Mail)