“I wouldn’t take no for an answer”

 How a solidarity-based sisterhood movement spread across rural India

“I can’t read and write, but I know how to fight legal cases,” says Akkatai Teli, now 67, a resident of Shirol region in the Kolhapur district of western India’s Maharashtra state.

Early in her life, people warned Akkatai to choose her battles wisely. Contrarily, she chose every struggle. Three decades later, in 2021, she says, "No woman should face what I have gone through, so I fight for everyone."

Akkatai has helped over 1000 rural women by bringing the perpetrators of domestic and sexual abuse to justice. This solidarity-based sisterhood movement has spread through fifty villages in western Maharashtra’s Kolhapur and Sangli districts.

Women in India face the most danger, statistically, from their own spouses and the families they marry into. 

Government statistics from 2019 show that 30% of reported crimes against women in India fell under the category “Cruelty by Husband or His Relatives”. 

 

Compounding this danger is a legal system that moves at a snail’s pace, if crimes are reported at all. Akkatai’s story highlights how important social support is to overcome these barriers.

Picture of Akkatai Teli by Sanket Jain, 2021. Graphic design by Gabriela Ramirez.

Her Call to Action

In the early 1990s, while selling fruits in the nearby Jaysingpur town, Akkatai Teli saw a grandmother weeping. Upon enquiring, she found that a resident had raped the woman’s five-year-old granddaughter. The past she was trying to forget stood in front of her. Akkatai rushed to a local official, a member of the legislative assembly from her constituency. “I told him about the case and asked him to phone the police.”

From her previous experiences, she knew approaching the police directly wouldn’t be helpful. But the elected politician was lackadaisical too. With no option left, she stormed the police station: “I wouldn’t take no for an answer.” To her surprise, the police did file a complaint and started an investigation. “The case lasted for five years, and the culprit was jailed per the civil court’s orders,” she says proudly. 

 

This victory inspired Akkatai to start a movement.

The World Health Organisation states that globally one in three women has been subjected to violence. That’s roughly 736 million women. Akkatai wanted to change this using the power of solidarity.

She knew legal battles in India could take decades. The Indian judiciary ranks 69 amongst 128 countries in the World Justice project’s Rule of Law Index report, 2020. The country has 40 million pending court cases. Akkatai didn’t want to become another statistic. 

The Back Story

It started in 1963. “I was 9 years old. My grandmother took 500 Indian Rupees (€ 5.5) as a bribe [from the man’s family] and got me married,” she recalls. Her husband, Mahadev, 14 years older to her, sold country liquor and “drank alcohol like it was water”.

 

“For two decades, he would beat me from midnight till morning. He murdered someone in the community and was jailed,” she says, “He even sold the kitchen utensils to buy alcohol.” Akkatai started working as a fruit vendor, farmworker and often doubled up as a labourer in a tobacco factory at the age of 12, only to have her bare-minimum earnings taken by Mahadev. “I have lost count of the number of times we slept on empty stomachs,” she says, referring to how Mahadev devastated not just Akkatai but the childhood of her two daughters. 

Despite numerous attempts, she couldn’t return to her maternal home because of the social stigma associated with divorce and women who leave their marital homes. Even today Indian women are often told by their families and society that no matter how bad their marriage is they should stay in it till the end of their lives. For Akkatai, the violence stopped only after Mahadev died of alcoholism in the late 80s.

"This society has decided that women should face all kinds of atrocities. I wanted to change that."

Akkatai Teli, Indian sisterhood movement

Her First Legal Battle

Akkatai’s first encounter with the legal system began in 1990 when she couldn’t bear injustice anymore. “After Mahadev passed away, the violence stopped, but my in-laws had planned hell for me,” she remembers. They ended up selling Mahadev’s almost two-acre farm without Akkatai’s signature and consent. “I went to the police station, but no one helped me.” 

 

Akkatai, who had not been educated beyond the first grade, faced immense challenges. “I walked into the Jaysingpur civil court alone.” The court officials informed her of a provision where the government could assign her a lawyer. The family sold the land to four different people to make matters more complicated, which meant fighting four community strongholds, who belonged to the privileged castes. 

That’s when Akkatai met advocate Dhanajirao Jagadale from the town of Jaysingpur.

“Her determination and courage not only helped her win the property case, but also inspired several other women to come forward."

Dhanajirao Jagadale, advocate

It took almost sixteen years to win her first case. “Things kept getting difficult, as the goons would threaten me physically and mentally even at 2 AM,” she says. 

 

Akkatai also reached out to the local media. “The local coverage would inspire more women,” she remembers. “I want more women to come ahead and fight their battles using the power of solidarity.” It has helped her receive the support of at least fifty community women.

Building A Solidarity Movement

Whenever Akkatai gets a call from a survivor of domestic violence, she first comforts them. “At times when there’s a threat to a woman’s life, I even shelter her safely in my house,” she says.

 

In India, 77 percent of the women who face domestic and sexual violence never talk about it. To correct this, she has written her contact number on the wall outside her house. “My house is an SOS centre for women. I get calls from victims even at 2 am.” 

 

Revealing her contact number has also led to her receiving death threats over the phone. “I don’t fear anything. I always sleep with a sickle beside me. Now many local people support my work,” she explains. She has also taken legal action against such threats.

The excuses for violence range from birthing a female child, dowry, alcoholism, the marital family’s disdain towards women, suspicion regarding extramarital affairs, women talking to neighbours or men outside the family, and many more.

Fighting For Justice

Upon receiving a complaint, Akkatai visits the government’s special cell for women and children to register a complaint and obtain legal documents, which can be used in court. 

 

“Each case takes at least eight to ten years,” she says. Talking about the challenges of the Indian judicial system in India, lawyer Gowthaman Ranganathan tells Unbias the News:

Judicial backlog is a persistent problem. Lack of judicial appointments and lack of infrastructure are two big reasons.

Gowthaman Ranganathan, lawyer

Nalini, a Delhi based lawyer, says: “I hear from my colleagues in district courts that judges too work amidst a lot of pressure, where someone would be trying to bribe them while another person would be threatening them.”

Meanwhile, the legal costs and the mental trauma often forces people to withdraw. “Not many people are aware of the legal remedies and their rights,” she adds.

Physical and Mental Harrassment

This reminds her of Rekha Desai*, another woman she helped. Rekha states: “His family members lied to me and said that he was a bus conductor while he was a gambler.” Within a year of the marriage, she found out that her husband was having a relationship outside of the marriage. When she began confronting him, he resorted to physical violence. “For eight years, he abused and beat me. Even his family members would mentally harass me.”

 

When Rekha returned to her maternal home for a few days, she met Akkatai, who assured her safety. Before filing a complaint, Akkatai usually speaks to both the parties and only then proceeds. “Rekha’s husband threatened us, and even abused me, ” says Akkatai. 

 

She began her preliminary investigation by talking to the villagers at length. “I found everything about his illicit affair, the gambling, and how he sought local politicians’ help to silence Rekha,” says Akkatai. 

Long Road to Justice

Before filing a case, Akkatai held multiple conversations with Rekha over two months. “We first filed a case in the civil court mentioning that Rekha was lied to, deceived, and that her husband physically and mentally abused her every day.” It took three years for the first verdict that came in Rekha’s favour. Rekha says, “The court ordered him to pay me INR 5000 [€ 57] monthly as interim maintenance amount.”

 

Rekha’s spouse contested it in the district court – 50 kilometers away from Rekha’s remote village. “Every month, there would be a hearing which would take at least eight hours,” she says. “Even this result came in my favour, and now the court fined him,” says Rekha. Her husband then roped in a few relatives trying to bribe Rekha into giving him a divorce. “What shocks me every time is how a man thinks he can decide everything,” says Akkatai. 

So far, Rekha has visited multiple courts over 100 times across five years. Each hearing cost Rekha and Akkatai a day’s income.

Akkatai asked Rekha not to opt for divorce till the dues were settled. “The property is in her husband’s name. As per the law, even his wife and children have a say in it. How can we give up that right?” asks Akkatai. In India, there are no accurate datasets available on how much land women own. A 2018 state of the land report puts it at an average of 12.9 percent. 

 

“He didn’t even pay the monthly maintenance the court asked him to. We won’t settle for a divorce,” says Akkatai. After fighting for several decades, she learned such legal complexities. “I would discuss with lawyers, ask them questions till the time it made sense to me,” says Akkatai of acquainting herself with the legal provisions. 

What Allies Can Do

Narayan Gaikwad, a 73-year-old farmer from Kolhapur’s Jambhali village, has seen Akkatai fight cases from the start. “With tremendous pressure and red-tapism, sometimes Akkatai loses her calm. That’s when I take the case forward,” he says. Narayan has helped Akkatai in several instances and ensured the local police at least registered the case.

Building a support system is essential; otherwise, victims can’t endure the fight.

Akkatai Teli, Indian sisterhood movement

Advocate Dhanajirao Jagadale says, “Often, the lawyers fighting the case of perpetrators keep delaying the hearing. Prolonging the case builds mental pressure on the survivor to withdraw.”

 

Advocate Gowthaman Ranganathan believes it is important to remember the contribution of the feminist movement in getting legislation against domestic violence. Till then it was seen as something that happens within a man’s home and is personal. He agrees with the need for reform and better implementation:

 

“Laws can exist but it is the economic dependence that keeps women in violent situations. Judicial academies organise gender sensitivity training for officials but we can have more such workshops. Protection officers, appointed to support women facing abuse, need to be prompt and in accessible locations. So-called men’s rights’ movements are pushing the narrative that the law needs to be reversed because it is being misused. We need to counter that narrative too.”

 

Akkatai, who has spent her lifetime fighting, is not tired. “If I can just get the support of a woman lawyer, I can make the entire Kolhapur district safe for women,” she says. 

“Keep fighting the good fight. Keep questioning everything. The answers might change someone’s life,” Akkatai Teli advises.

* Names have been changed

(Source: Unbias The News)

JK Rowling reveals she is survivor of domestic abuse and sexual assault

Author reveals experiences in essay after facing criticism over her comments on trans issues

JK Rowling has revealed her experience of domestic abuse and sexual assault for the first time, in a lengthy and highly personal essay written in response to criticism of her public comments on transgender issues.

In a 3,600-word statement published on her website on Wednesday, Rowling described in more detail than ever how she became involved in an increasingly bitter and polarised debate around the concept of gender identity.

The author revealed she was “a domestic abuse and sexual assault survivor”, citing this alongside her belief in freedom of speech and experience as a teacher as reasons behind her position.

“I’m mentioning these things now not in an attempt to garner sympathy, but out of solidarity with the huge numbers of women who have histories like mine, who’ve been slurred as bigots for having concerns around single-sex spaces,” she wrote.

The piece came after the Harry Potter author posted a series of messages on Twitter at the weekend that provoked fresh criticism, including one that read: “If sex isn’t real, the lived reality of women globally is erased. I know and love trans people, but erasing the concept of sex removes the ability of many to meaningfully discuss their lives.”

Since then, prominent figures have publicly argued against her position, including actors who have worked in the Harry Potter franchises such as Daniel Radcliffe and Eddie Redmayne, the non-binary celebrity Jonathan Van Ness and the trans author Juno Dawson.

In her essay, Rowling writes of her own struggles with sexism and misogyny, and her adolescent sense of being “mentally sexless”, adding that reading accounts of gender dysphoria by trans men had made her wonder “if I’d been born 30 years later, I too might have tried to transition”.

“The allure of escaping womanhood would have been huge. I struggled with severe OCD as a teenager. If I’d found community and sympathy online that I couldn’t find in my immediate environment, I believe I could have been persuaded to turn myself into the son my father had openly said he’d have preferred,” she wrote.

Rowling said she had initially been moved to share her thoughts after reading about proposed “gender confirmation certificates” in Scotland, which will allow trans people to change sex on their birth certificates based on how they identify and not medical and psychiatric reports. She accused her critics of “groupthink” and “relentless attacks”, saying that while she believed trans people needed and deserved protection due to the high rates of domestic and sexual violence they endure, she did not agree that trans women who have not undergone hormone therapy or surgical transition should have access to single-sex spaces.

“When you throw open the doors of bathrooms and changing rooms to any man who believes or feels he’s a woman – and, as I’ve said, gender confirmation certificates may now be granted without any need for surgery or hormones – then you open the door to any and all men who wish to come inside. That is the simple truth,” she wrote.

She said the criticism had left her “in a very dark place inside my head, as memories of a serious sexual assault I suffered in my 20s recurred on a loop. That assault happened at a time and in a space where I was vulnerable, and a man capitalised on an opportunity. I couldn’t shut out those memories and I was finding it hard to contain my anger and disappointment about the way I believe my government is playing fast and loose with women’s and girls’ safety.”

She also confirmed for the first time that she had suffered physical abuse in her 20s. “If you could come inside my head and understand what I feel when I read about a trans woman dying at the hands of a violent man, you’d find solidarity and kinship,” she wrote.

Citing an unnamed poll, Rowling claimed that those who did not support preserving single-sex spaces were “only those privileged or lucky enough never to have come up against male violence or sexual assault, and who’ve never troubled to educate themselves on how prevalent it is”.

She said she had been contacted by “huge numbers” of women who were afraid to speak publicly about trans reforms, and decried institutions and organisations she once admired for “cowering before the tactics of the playground”. She said she believed misogyny and sexism were reasons behind the 4,400% increase in the number of girls being referred for transitioning treatment in the past decade.

“I’ve read all the arguments about femaleness not residing in the sexed body, and the assertions that biological women don’t have common experiences, and I find them, too, deeply misogynistic and regressive. It’s also clear that one of the objectives of denying the importance of sex is to erode what some seem to see as the cruelly segregationist idea of women having their own biological realities or – just as threatening – unifying realities that make them a cohesive political class … It isn’t enough for women to be trans allies. Women must accept and admit that there is no material difference between trans women and themselves,” she wrote.

The essay prompted a heated debate on Twitter. On Wednesday evening Emma Watson, who played Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter films, tweeted: “Trans people are who they say they are and deserve to live their lives without being constantly questioned or told they aren’t who they say they are.”

In a second tweet, she said: “I want my trans followers to know that I and so many other people around the world see you, respect you and love you for who you are.”

(Source: The Guardian)

‘It’s a toxic environment’: The victims imprisoned at home as honour-based abuse reports surge in lockdown

National charity supporting victims reports 200 per cent surge in calls to helpline 

It was by email that Divya finally asked for help – she was scared her family would overhear if she made a phone call.

During lockdown she had been barred from contacting her partner, because her family didn’t approve of him. They banned her from leaving the house alone, or speaking to anyone else. They took all electronic items from her. But finally, after persuading her family she needed a laptop for her studies, Divya managed to get in touch with Fedra.

Fedra is one of the helpline workers at Karma Nirvana, a national charity supporting victims of honour-based abuse, which has seen a 57 per cent rise in calls during lockdown. She said Divya, whose name has been changed to protect her identity, was one of the victims whose problems had been exacerbated by the restrictions on movement due to coronavirus.

“Divya entered into a relationship that was discovered by both her own family and her partner’s family, both of whom disapproved of them being together. This caused family altercations within her own family and between the two families, escalating to police involvement. However, Divya remained within the family home during lockdown,” Fedra told The Independent.

“She discussed fears of being caught whilst fleeing and what would happen if she was forced to return home, fearing an escalation of abuse. She discussed the detrimental effect of the abuse on her mental health, as well as not being allowed to speak to her partner.”

Divya was able to flee her abusive family during the lockdown after gaining help from Karma Nirvana and the police and has now found secure accommodation where she is free and safe to contact her partner as she wishes.

Karma Nirvana, which trains the police, NHS and social services on issues of forced marriage and honour-based abuse, experienced a 200 per cent surge in calls to its helpline during a six-week period from 16 March to 24 April compared to the same period leading up to it. The organisation had their busiest week of the year at the end of April, with more than 250 calls.

Honour-based abuse includes forced marriage, which sees girls taken abroad to be married off to strangers, coercive control, female genital mutilation (FGM), assault, threats to kill, attempted murder, and murder.

Natasha Rattu, Karma Nirvana’s director, told The Independent the fact that honour-based abuse was spiking during Ramadan – normally a quiet time for victims coming forward – demonstrates what a “desperate situation” people are in.

She added: “The cases we are coming across tend to be more complex in nature. Victims of honour-based abuse are making plans to flee their abusive families and partners when the restrictions start to relax, but they don’t know when that will be so everything is uncertain. Victims are very desperate.

“It is very similar to domestic abuse victims living with their abusers in the lockdown but honour-based abuse victims are often living with multiple perpetrators – their families. Ultimately, they now have exactly what they want, which is control over the victim. It is widely recognised that honour-based abuse and coercive control go hand in hand. If there was a legal definition for honour-based abuse it would be coercive control. The pandemic and the social restrictions create the perfect environment for perpetrators to have the ultimate control of the victim and that is why we are getting more calls to the helpline.

“It is important to recognise victims of honour-based abuse have additional barriers to getting help to other victims due to shaming and stigma in the community and the fact they tend to have multiple perpetrators – mothers, fathers, sisters, partners – controlling them. 

The Home Office campaigns have not amplified the experiences of honour-based abuse victims enough and we need to have a focused campaign to reach victims in communities where it is more difficult to come forward.”

Ms Rattu said police have contacted her to inform her they have not been able to track down some honour-based abuse victims who were known to authorities before the lockdown.

She also said there had been a substantial drop in referrals of honour-based abuse from concerned professionals and this was most pronounced with teachers due to school closures – compounding the “invisibility” of victims.

Ms Rattu has heard of reports of forced marriages to men living abroad happening over Skype and via normal telephone calls during the lockdown, although her organisation has not personally helped anyone in such a situation. Advancing technologies provide “another avenue” to exploit a forced marriage victim, she said.

There is likely to be a spike in forced marriages when the lockdown travel restrictions are eased by the government and there will be many families currently planning forced marriages for later in the year, she added.

Legislation which made it illegal to force someone into marriage in England and Wales was introduced in 2014 and anyone found guilty of doing so can be imprisoned for up to seven years.

Farhana Raval, a forced marriage survivor, was coerced into a marriage on a family holiday to Bangladesh in the summer holidays when she was just 16.

The 36-year-old accountant, who says her case is typical of forced marriages still happening, said she did not know what was going on when the marital vows took place and her family barred her from going back to the UK until she was pregnant and past the time she could have an abortion.

Ms Raval, who divorced her husband eight years after they got married, told The Independent: “Being in lockdown in a situation where they are trying to force you into marriage would be really difficult. My period at home was really intense. School was my respite.

“Lockdown is really hard for honour-based abuse victims. You are in this intense family setting which is difficult at the best of times but now there are additional barriers to escape and seek help and intervention. Reactions are more extreme because lockdown exacerbates emotions. Things linger. There is no opportunity to get out and let things dissipate. It is a tense toxic environment.

“Also if you’ve got a boyfriend who your parents disapprove of, the chances of being found out in lockdown are much higher. The chances of getting caught living a dual life gets massively enhanced. You can’t blend into a crowd and meet up with people that you otherwise wouldn’t want your parents to know about and know they would disapprove of.”

While the government has announced £76m to support domestic abuse and modern slavery victims, along with vulnerable children whose problems have been exacerbated during lockdown, it is not yet clear if any of that money going to helping victims of honour-based abuse.

Commander Ivan Balhatchet, National Police Chiefs’ Council lead on honour-based abuse, forced marriage and FGM, said: “Since the UK government issued stay at home advice to residents in March reports of honour-based abuse have decreased. We know from our work with partners and charities that the Covid-19 restrictions significantly impact on the opportunities those vulnerable to honour-based abuse have to seek advice. The stay at home guidance provides perpetrators with a guise to further exert control.”

He said police were striving to understand the “increased risks and barriers to seeking help in the current climate” and find ways to help victims safely access support to “escape a life of abuse”.

A Home Office spokesperson said: “Honour-based abuse is devastating to victims and we are committed to eliminating it. The #YouAreNotAlone campaign highlights that those at risk of honour-based abuse should contact the Karma Nirvana helpline, which the Home Office continues to part-fund. This increase in calls to the hotline shows that potential victims are being reached and that they are getting the support and help they need.”

(Source: Independent)

Coronavirus: European Parliament shelters 100 homeless women

A European Parliament building in Brussels is housing 100 homeless women - many of them victims of domestic abuse - who have been severely affected by Belgium's coronavirus lockdown.

The Helmut Kohl building, an office block in the city centre, opened its doors to them on Wednesday.

Offices have been turned into bedrooms, each for one or two women. They also get meals and medical care there.

Samusocial, a charity, says the crisis has increased domestic abuse cases.

The cafeteria in the new shelter, which overlooks a park. RTBF

The parliament, based in the Belgian capital, teamed up with Samusocial to run the facility, which is much-needed because social distancing has forced many women's shelters to close.

"We've had many cases of women thrown on to the streets since the lockdown started, because of domestic violence, which is tending to increase," Samusocial director Sébastien Roy told public broadcaster RTBF.

The Brussels authorities are also providing emergency accommodation for homeless people in some hotels.

The European Parliament's buildings are mostly empty. Sessions are now attended only by a few MEPs in the chamber, with others joining by video link.

The monthly full session in Strasbourg, eastern France, has been suspended until July. For years the Brussels-Strasbourg shuttle has been criticised, including by MEPs themselves, as a waste of EU money.

Parliament President David Sassoli, who toured the Helmut Kohl facility, said "this emergency affects all of us" and "in Brussels there is a lot of pain now".

"I think this crisis should push all of us, the institutions included, to set a good example."

The building, opened last October, is named after the German chancellor who symbolised European unity after the collapse of communism.

The parliament's kitchens are also providing 1,000 meals a day for charities helping the homeless.

Women get more privacy in the converted offices than in many other hostels. RTBF

Mr Roy said the future of the homeless women post-lockdown remained an open question. He said the crisis was an opportunity for society to improve provision for its neediest members.

Adeline, one of the women being sheltered, told RTBF the accommodation was a relief because "people forgot about the homeless in this crisis".

"We had to move on all the time in this lockdown, my husband and I walked 15km (nine miles) daily, the police told us 'you must keep moving'. At the end of the day we were exhausted," she said.

She said the rooms, each housing two women at the most, were more comfortable than at other women's shelters, where as many as six had to share a room.

But she deplored the fact that her husband, like many other homeless men, would have to remain on the street.

(Source: BBC)

UK lockdown: Calls to domestic abuse helpline jump by half

Calls to a national domestic abuse helpline rose by 49% and killings doubled weeks after lockdown, a report by MPs has revealed.

Following the "surge" in violence, the report called for a government strategy on domestic abuse during the pandemic.

MPs also said "safe spaces", where victims can seek help, should be rolled out to supermarkets and other shops.

The Home Office said it was increasing funding to support helplines and online services.

Researchers at the Counting Dead Women Project told MPs 14 women and two children had been killed in the first three weeks of lockdown.

The rate of increase of helpline calls has been growing (Picture posed by model). Getty Images

The figure is the largest number of killings in a three-week period for 11 years and more than double the average rate, they said.

Meanwhile, the number of calls to the National Domestic Abuse helpline run by Refuge was 25% above average in the second week of lockdown and 49% higher than normal after three weeks.

Male victims of abuse have also been calling for help in greater numbers, with the Men's Advice Line seeing calls rise 35% in the first week of lockdown.

Without a comprehensive government strategy to cope with the consequences of this violence, the home affairs select committee said "we will be dealing with serious consequences for a generation".

It said the strategy should include raising awareness, prevention, victim support, housing and a criminal justice response, supported with dedicated funding and ministerial leadership.

MPs have also called for more help to allow victims access support at times when they may be unable to use the phone or ask friends for help.

That could include expanding the Safe Spaces scheme piloted in pharmacies, where victims can indicate to staff they need help, to other shops such as supermarkets.

Staying home was essential to prevent coronavirus spreading, said Yvette Cooper, chairwoman of the committee. But "for some people home isn't safe" and "urgent action" was needed to protect them.

While the government's national public information campaign is welcome, she said it "needs to go much further".

'Scars last a lifetime'

"Things are particularly hard for vulnerable children. We can't abandon them in the middle of this crisis," Ms Cooper said.

The committee said there will also be an "acute" need for support when restrictions are eased, as victims may face escalating violence if they try to leave.

"The emotional, physical and social scars from domestic abuse can last a lifetime," said Ms Cooper.

The report also highlighted a lack of space in refuges, with 64% of requests for a space for victims declined in 2018-19.

Sandra Horley, chief executive of Refuge, said the need for funding had "never been greater", with cuts since 2010 having "decimated" services while the pandemic has sent demand soaring.

"All women who need to escape during lockdown and beyond must be assured of a safe place to stay with specialist support," she said. 

This should also apply, she added, to those with people with insecure immigration status who are not allowed to access most government benefits.

Safeguarding Minister Victoria Atkins said that as well as a national awareness-raising campaign, the government was providing additional funding for helplines and online support, and was helping charities access some of the £750m aid announced by the chancellor earlier this month.

"The government has prioritised those at risk of domestic abuse in this national health emergency," she said.

Domestic abuse in lockdown

• 16: people killed in first three weeks - highest is 11 years
• 49%: rise in calls to abuse helpline, compared with average
• 35%: rise in calls to Men's Advice Line, in first week

Source: Counting Dead Women Project, National Domestic Abuse helpline, Men's Advice Line

Information and support: If you or someone you know needs support for issues about domestic abuse, these organisations may be able to help.

(Source: BBC)

Domestic violence kills 15 times as many as terrorism in Britain

Police budgets to counter domestic assaults must be ringfenced, say campaigners

Domestic violence kills 15 times as many people in Britain as terrorism, say campaigners who want the police to be given more money to tackle the problem.

The huge disparity is highlighted in figures obtained from official sources by victims’ rights campaigners, who say the police budget for combating domestic violence must be ringfenced, as it is for terrorism.

Official figures show there were 1,870 domestic murders in England and Wales between 2000 and 2018, compared with 126 that were terrorism-related. The vast majority of domestic murder victims were women. In addition, campaigners say an estimated 400 victims of domestic violence a year take their own lives.

“Expenditure on the prevention and detection of domestic violence must be hugely increased now,” said Liz Saville Roberts, Plaid Cymru’s home affairs spokeswoman. “It is shocking and a disgrace that since 2000 over 6,000 – predominantly women – have either been murdered or have taken their own lives following domestic abuse.”

Police forces do not reveal how much they spend on tackling domestic violence. But campaigners say it has been cut in recent years.

Plaid Cymru’s home affairs spokeswoman Liz Saville Roberts says expenditure on the issue must be increased. Photograph: Andrew Price/View Finder

The intelligence and security agencies, charged with combating terrorism have an annual budget of £2.6bn.

“Spending on fighting terrorism has been ringfenced whilst money for women’s support services and for the police has been cut,” said Saville Roberts. “Fifteen times more [people] have been murdered by partners than have lost their lives because of terrorism. It is right that funds for counter terrorism are not cut, but the budget for domestic abuse must increase and be protected as a matter of priority for the next government.”

The call comes amid mounting concern that domestic violence is increasing. Demand for women’s abuse support services rose by 83% in the 10 years up to 2017 while funding fell by almost 50%. The government estimates that domestic violence costs the UK £66bn annually.

On average the police receive an emergency call relating to domestic abuse every 30 seconds. Domestic abuse offences in London rose by 63% between 2011 and 2018, according to figures collated by the mayor’s Office for Policing and Crime. At the same time, prosecutions are falling.

Domestic-abuse related cases referred to prosecutors for consideration for charge fell 11% last year despite a surge in the number of crimes recorded by police.

Thousands of alleged perpetrators remain at large, according to campaigners.

“Police funding and support services for victims of domestic abuse have been severely cut since 2010,” said Harry Fletcher, spokesman for the Victims Rights Campaign. “Over the last 18 years 126 people have been killed by terror in England and Wales whilst over 1,800 mainly women have been killed by partners. This is outrageous.

“It is essential that the new government gives priority to preventing and investigating domestic abuse. Budgets must be protected and ringfenced in the future. The police must be given the resources to find and prosecute the thousands of alleged perpetrators who are at large in the community on the police wanted list.”

(Source: The Guardian)

‘He would destroy my sim cards and lock the front door’: A mother and two daughters’ story of domestic abuse

Cycle of abuse passed down through generations, women in refuge tell The Independent: ‘I think dad made us weak. He opened us up and made us vulnerable’

Zoe* and Holly* grew up in a household where their father subjected their mother to psychological and physical abuse and have been exposed to domestic violence since they were born.

The two sisters, who are currently in hiding in the same refuge for domestic abuse victims in Reigate and Banstead in Surrey, have gone on to endure domestic abuse in their own respective relationships as adults.

Zoe has been forced to move 11 times to escape her perpetrator after being subjected to a “dark” campaign of abuse which involved him regularly physically assaulting her, confiscating her bank card and keys, locking her in the house, and destroying her sim cards in an effort to isolate her.

Holly, her 25-year-old sister, who is pregnant, was also subjected to coercive control, psychological manipulation and physical abuse at the hands of her abuser.

Emma, the mother of the siblings, says it troubles her that her daughters have had to endure the same violence that she suffered.

“It upsets me that they have gone through it too,” she told The Independent. “Although I feel that I protected them as much as I could from it, obviously they heard and saw a lot more than I realised.”

Emma, who is visiting her daughters at the refuge despite guests not ordinarily being allowed for security reasons, says it has been an “emotional rollercoaster” witnessing her children suffer at the hands of their abusive partners.

She adds: “Zoe was totally besotted with him – a bit like how I was with her dad. Zoe is like me – she has a very strong shell but she is very gloopy inside.”

The two sisters are currently in hiding in the same refuge for domestic abuse victims in Reigate and Banstead in Surrey ( Angela Christofilou )

Emma was worried her daughter might be murdered at the hands of her partner.

“I was scared she was going to die. I would have dreams she had been stabbed by her ex when she was pregnant. I said to her, he is the type who would throw acid in your face and say: ‘I can’t have you so no one else can’.

“If he found out she was here, he would, without a shadow of a doubt, come. Even if it was just to sit across the road and look at her to say, ‘I know where you live’. For both of my daughters, it has been horrendous knowing what is going on as a mother and worrying night after night thinking I am going to get a phone call.”

Emma suffered domestic abuse at the hands of her ex-husband throughout their 18-year marriage.

They met when she was 20 and he was 33. “I would have died for him in this first six months,” the 50-year-old recalls. “I fell head over heels in love. I can’t even describe the love I had for that man.”

But things quickly changed when she got to know him and found herself isolated from her family and friends and was forbidden from wearing makeup.

She adds: “I did not speak to my family because he constantly told me they were out to get me. All the friends he allowed me to have were victims of violence as well. I had a friend who used to come to my place black and blue with blood pouring from her face.

“I used to say ‘why?’ and she would say: ‘This is just us, this is how we live’. My husband used to say to me: ‘She clearly hasn’t done what she is told’.”

Emma also recalls feeling under pressure to have sex with her husband.

“My husband was a very sexual man. It sounds disgusting now but he had to have sex every night before he went to bed for the whole 18 years. Even if I was pregnant, or had just given birth, or was ill. You name it.

“Every day for a year, he went on about us having a threesome. In the end, I did it because I couldn’t stand the badgering. He would hit me in places people don’t see. He was also very emotionally abusive. He would say: ‘Nobody would ever want you’. He was a vile man with a vile mouth. Even the police said: ‘Don’t let him see the kids, he is mentally torturing them’.”

The entire burden of cooking for the family fell on Emma, for the duration of their marriage. The only time her ex, who was sentenced to 18 months in prison for beating her up, would make her a cup of tea all year was on Christmas morning.

She says that she tried to get a space in a refuge when she finally managed to escape her abuser but was denied one so was left homeless and was forced to stay with her sister. Emma now works as a support worker for domestic violence victims.

“It can be tough at times because you are dealing with people who have been where you have so you know where they are,” she says. “Women will say ‘I love him’ and I say to my manager: ‘There is no point in me even saying leave him because unless you are ready you are not going’. Some of the ladies I deal with have been hit really badly but they love them. I know from experience you will not leave them until you find that inner strength.”

Statistics show women are at the greatest risk of homicide at the point of separation or after leaving a violent partner – some 55 per cent of the women murdered by their ex in 2017 were killed within the first month of separation and 87 per cent in the first year.

Every week in the UK, two women are murdered by a partner or ex-partner. A woman will try to leave a violent partner an average of seven times before eventually managing to flee.

Holly explains she had never even heard of a refuge until her sister was placed in one – adding that coming to the refuge had massively helped her.

She thinks that seeing the abuse her father, whom she no longer speaks to, perpetrated against her mother made her normalise such abuse.

“Me and my sister Zoe seem to go down the route of ‘he only did this’ because we have seen it so many times before that it is sort of normal,” she says. “We do not see loads wrong with it. I think dad made us weak. He opened us up and made us vulnerable. I think I have never really understood the difference between ‘Are you okay babe, are you having fun with your friends? and ‘Where the f*ck are you?’”

Hestia, a charity which campaigns on the long-term impact domestic violence has on children, found some 50 per cent of children who experience domestic abuse as a child go on to endure the same abuse later in life. 

Zoe says her ex would force her to FaceTime constantly and did it so much that he was eventually fired from his job – adding that he would go through her phone and question her about things that happened a decade ago.

“If I didn’t relay it word by word, I was disgusting, I was dirty, I was a liar,” she says. “He used to even go through messages with my mum. I wound up leaving him after just over a year after he really, really beat me up. But coming to the refuge has given me peace of mind and given me myself back. I feel like I can be me again.”

Zoe, who has been in the refuge for around six months now, also credits the shelter with giving her a fresh start. But she vents her frustrations about the fact it took her around a year to get into a refuge, due to a lack of spaces.

Those in need of a refuge are finding it more difficult than ever to find an available bed, with the most recent figures showing 60 per cent of them are unable to. Local authority spending on refuges has been cut from £31.2m in 2010 to £23.9m in 2017 – with several refuges forced to shut in the last nine years.

Zoe says her ex turned violent within just a couple of weeks of being with him and quickly pressured her into leaving her job after accusing her of sleeping with both male and female colleagues.

She adds: “He quickly wanted children and I had a baby with him. He chucked me out whenever he wanted and threw my stuff out the window. And he became violent, even if it put their baby in danger.

“He once strangled me when I had the baby in my arms. If we were arguing, the first thing he would do would take my keys, my phone and my bank card. He would smash my phone against the wall and destroy my sim cards so I could not contact anyone. He would lock the front door so I couldn’t go outside.

“He would cause wedges between me and all my family. I had no friends. The only ones I have now are from the refuge.”

Zoe says on one occasion in their relationship he posted an explicit photo of her on Facebook after a fight and in another instance, he broke a court order barring him from contacting her and burgled her house.

She recounts another incident where he flew into a rage while she was driving on a busy road and tried to steer the car into oncoming traffic before pulling the handbrake. He then dragged her out of the car by her hair – forcing her and her young children to walk a two-mile journey home in the late evening.

Charlotte Kneer, herself a domestic abuse survivor, is now chief executive of Reigate and Banstead Women’s Aid refuge – her violent partner was jailed for seven years in 2011.

Kneer believes Zoe may not have been forced to experience such abuse if her mother had managed to get a space in a refuge when Zoe was young.

“An important element of the work we do here is ending the cycle of domestic abuse so it is not passed through generations,” she says.

“We help women identity signs of abuse so they know what they are looking for and to make sure they don’t enter other abusive relationships in the future. This family is an example of abuse being normalised in childhood and then it recurring.

“This family shows why being in a refuge is such an important way to stop that happening. Maybe a lot of this horrific abuse might have been avoided if Emma had been able to find a refuge space when the children were younger.”

*The names of the siblings and mother in this article have been changed to protect their identity

(Source: Independent)