The curious case of the parent-dependent Indian millennial

Except for their height and education, nothing has really changed about my now grown-up kids. I think I might be the one to blame. I turned into that dreaded beast: the helicopter parent, who controlled their routine, and now my children depend on that control, writes Ashwina Garg, the author of 'Spicy Bites of Biryani', on Arre. Read on: 

My son is home for the summer and today he turns 20. When I thought of this adult milestone during his growing-up years, I had visions of him partying the night away and releasing the last of his teenage rebellion and angst, while I begged him to spend time with me. Instead we went to the temple, I made his favourite chole bhature, and then we watched Netflix together.

I thought of asking him when exactly he plans to get a life, but it was his birthday so I didn’t say anything. It struck me then: I seemed to have raised an adult, but a heavily parent-dependent one.

Except for their height and education, nothing has really changed about my now nearly grown-up kids. They still have to be reminded to go bathe, and once inside the bathroom, they have to be reminded to come out. They won’t even come to the table for dinner unless I send them a notarised invitation in triplicate – or turn off the Wi-Fi.  They respond to incentive and behave themselves under threat. They are essentially people with bodies of 20-year-olds and minds of five-year-olds.

I think I might be the one to blame.

It started innocently enough when they were toddlers. I planned their whole day for them including the time they should wake up in the morning and the time they should go to bed. I got to decide whether they would wear their green shirt or their blue one and how much TV they could watch in a day. I set up a nice little routine for them and after a few years, I turned into that dreaded beast: the helicopter parent.

Even when they move away, technology has played its part in keeping those umbilical cords firmly attached. Weekly calls have given way to several dozen messages a day, detailing every aspect of their lives.

It worked really well when they were kids who had to be controlled but the problem is they grew up to depend on that control. They still need to be told when to get up, when to go to sleep, and whether they should wear the green or the blue shirt. They also need to be told that they should become more independent on a regular basis. They politely agree to this before taking a sip of the hot chocolate and onion bhajis that I made for them and go back to binge-watching The Office.

My kids have turned into those dreaded brats: dependent millennials.

Veere Di Wedding was a perfect example for this kind of specimen. The media might scream hoarse that it was a movie about empowerment of women, but all I could see in the movie were grown-up brats with indulgent parents (except Kareena who had an indulgent Uncle) running back home when life got tough. It was really a movie about the Indian millennial with overprotective parents who will do anything to make their kids’ lives perfect.

It’s no different in real life. We’re seeing a generation that is not particularly keen to move out of their parents’ homes because they get all the freedom and the financial support that the previous generation didn’t get from their parents. Even if they do move away from their parents, they are not averse to asking the old folks for tax advice, love advice, or cash to buy a car or go on a holiday. They don’t mind their parents being involved in every aspect of their lives; independence is overrated. The Indian millennial has discovered that a single room shared by three friends might look glamorous on screen but it’s really no match for their parents’ home where the food is free, laundry fresh-smelling, and electricity 24X7.

Even when they move away, technology has played its part in keeping those umbilical cords firmly attached. Weekly calls have given way to several dozen messages a day, detailing every aspect of their lives. I am frequently messaged in the middle of the night by the older one, who studies abroad, asking me where his blue jacket might be. I know it’s in the top drawer because I told him to put it there.

The Indian millennial has come full circle. They like the idea of independence and marrying for love, but they will not elope or go against their parents’ wishes because they want that four-day destination wedding with the cocktails, sangeet, mehendi, and the honeymoon in Bali that only their financially secure, kid-obsessed, helicopter parents can provide. These kids will not sacrifice to prove a point. They want the 10-kilo lehenga and the barely-there cocktail dress. They want the bachelor party and the Satya Narayan Katha. They want the career, the kids, their social life and their me-time which isn’t possible without a solid support system. They are not averse to moving back with their parents to have it all and their helicopter folks are only too happy to indulge them.

Strangely enough, their dependency rarely upsets me. I know their behaviour can be perceived as immature but, deep down, it is what every helicopter parent desires: kids who constantly need them. Forever and ever.

It’s why Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are a wasted concept in India. Who needs a day dedicated to a parent when the kids never let you forget that you are their mommy and daddy? Psychologists might label it an unhealthy symbiotic relationship that feeds on each other’s neediness, but who cares?

It might be unhealthy, but at least this way I might never experience the empty nest syndrome because most probably, my kids will be needing me until they are 50.

While, the idea of spending my sons 30th birthday following the Netflix-and-temple routine, scares the hell out of me, I have no time to dwell on it right now. He’s calling me urgently. I have to go kill a cockroach in his bedroom.

Indian funds in Swiss banks rise by 50%, Pakistan's falls by 21%

Indians have reasserted their love for Swiss banks. Despite NDA government's tall claims of taking decisive action against parallel economy, the money parked by Indians in Swiss banks rose by over 50% to Rs 7,000 crore in 2017.

This reverses a three-year downward trend which the Centre has been presenting as a result of its vigorous clampdown on suspected black money stashed abroad.

The Indian case stands out. As against the 50 per cent rise in funds from India, the total funds held by all foreign clients of Swiss banks rose by just 3 per cent to Rs 100 lakh crore in 2017.

Interestingly, while the money stashed by Indians in Swiss banks rose, its neighbour Pakistan's fell by over 21 per cent to a record low of Rs 7,700 crore. However, Pakistani nationals still have more money stashed in Swiss bank than Indians.

This could well be a setback for BJP government's attempt to keep black money under check.

Swiss banks are most preferred by Indians. This was revealed by the official annual data released on June 28 by Swiss National Bank (SNB) - the central banking authority of Switzerland.

A retired senior finance ministry official, who was a part the note ban exercise and signing of treaties for flow of information to India from tax havens said, "I am surprised. This can happen only if the number of people who have honest money have started depositing overseas using the liberalised rules by RBI, or this can be a case of misuse by people who are desperate."

A finance ministry official said, "I-T department has information about this. Its teams are scrutinising the data which is flowing over a period. Right now, the ministry can't say how much of this is black money or how much of it is accounted for."

In 2016, deposits by Indians had fallen by 25 per cent. The drop was marking the biggest ever annual plunge to approximately Rs 4,500 crore.

The SNB data shows that funds held directly by Indians in 2017 rose to Rs 6,891 crore. Of this, Rs 3200 crore was in the form of customer deposits, Rs 1050 crore through other banks and Rs 2640 crore A's "other liabilities including securities. Nearly Rs 112 crore was held through fiduciaries or fund managers.

What's alarming officials is the fact that the funds under all categories barring fiduciaries has gone up exponentially reversing trends for the last three years.

No official agreed to comment on the SNB data or queries raised by the Opposition.

If deposits in Swiss banks have witnessed a huge rise then what about the tax havens where information is difficult to access due to client protection rules?

The latest data from Zurich-based SNB came a few months after the new framework was put in place to deliver automatic exchange of information between Switzerland and India to check black money.

Switzerland has shed its past reluctance of sharing client details on evidence of misappropriation or illegality provided by the Indian government.

(Source: India Today)

Seeing the same doctor over time 'lowers death rates'

Patients who see the same doctor again and again have lower death rates, a study suggests.

The benefits applied to visits to GPs and specialists and were seen across different cultures and health systems.

University of Exeter researchers said the human aspect of medical practice was "potentially life-saving" but had been neglected.

GPs' leaders said they recognised the value of patients seeing "their own" doctor.

Because of intense workforce pressures, however, this could mean waiting even longer for an appointment, the Royal College of GPs said.

Continuity of care is known to be particularly beneficial for patients with chronic conditions, long-term mental health issues and complex needs.

The study, published in BMJ Open, analysed the results of 22 studies in nine countries, including England, France, US, Canada and South Korea.

Eighteen of the studies indicated that contact with the same doctor over an average of two years meant fewer deaths over the periods studied, compared with other patients.

The researchers said continuity of care was important and should be given a higher priority in healthcare planning.

Repeated contact with the same doctor can be beneficial in many ways

'Better communication'
Prof Philip Evans, from the University of Exeter Medical School, said: "Continuity of care happens when a patient and a doctor see each other repeatedly and get to know each other.

"This leads to better communication, patient satisfaction, adherence to medical advice and much lower use of hospital services."

Sir Denis Pereira Gray, from St Leonard's GP practice in Exeter, who also worked on the study, said: "Patients have long known that it matters which doctor they see and how well they can communicate with them.

"Until now, arranging for patients to see the doctor of their choice has been considered a matter of convenience or courtesy.

"Now, it is clear it is about the quality of medical practice and is literally 'a matter of life and death'."

Team effort
Prof Kamila Hawthorne, vice-chair of the Royal College of GPs (RCGP), said many practices were trying out different approaches such as patients being assigned a team of healthcare professionals, including a GP, who had access to their records and could build relationships with them.

She said: "Balancing continuity of care with timely access to GP services is a huge challenge for general practice. And ultimately the answer is more GPs and more resources for the profession."

NHS England has pledged £2.4bn extra a year for general practice and 5,000 more GPs by 2020.

The RCGP said these must be delivered to safeguard the future of general practice and patient care.

(Source: BBC)

Airbnb and Uber woes show Japan does not share easily

With thousands of Airbnb reservations scrapped and Uber reduced to delivering food, life is hard in Japan for the giants of the sharing economy: They’re stuck between tough regulation and popular suspicion.

Japan may be the world’s third-largest economy and a high-tech hub but it has been surprisingly slow to warm up to the sharing economy that has disrupted markets across the globe.

According to 2016 figures compiled by research institute Yano the sharing economy accounted for ¥50 billion ($455 million) in Japan.

While that’s a 26 percent year-on-year rise, it is a drop in the ocean compared with the Europe, U.S. and China markets, which are worth tens to hundreds of billions of dollars.

This is partly due to confusion among the public about what the sharing economy is: only 2.7 percent of the population are familiar with the concept according to a 2017 survey by PwC professional services firm.

Strict local regulations have also held back the sector — as flat-sharing firm Airbnb found out recently to its chagrin.

On June 15, a new law came into effect that sought to regulate the short-term rental sector.

Although welcomed by Airbnb as a way to clear up the legal gray zone in which it has been operating, the new law has become somewhat of a double-edged sword, with thousands of owners forced to cast off property after failing to comply with the new requirements.

“This stinks — and that’s an understatement,” fumed Airbnb as it announced it was canceling thousands of reservations with owners who had failed to obtain a registration number by June 15.

In addition, the law prevents owners from renting out properties for more than 180 nights per year and local authorities can impose further restrictions.

In Kyoto for example, the tourist-magnet city sees residential area rentals are only allowed between mid-January and mid-March, when there’s a slump in tourism.

A man delivering an order by bicycle for meal-delivery service UberEATS in Tokyo's Shibuya shopping district on June 14. | AFP-JIJI

Such restrictions are in effect choking the sector, says Hiroyuki Kishi, a former trade ministry official and now professor at Tokyo’s Keio University.

“Vested interests are so strong in Japan,” he told AFP, regretting that such measures are coming into force “only two years before the Olympic Games” when Japan hopes to welcome 40 million tourists.

For Airbnb, the laws seek to protect the hotel industry and ryokans — traditional Japanese inns — whereas the taxi lobby has made it difficult for ride-sharing app Uber to set up shop in Japan.

“To promote the sharing economy, we have to loosen regulations” to allow new players to enter the market, said Kishi.

He believes that despite the economical reform efforts of Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, the government has “no intention” of opening up the sector “for fear of a backlash in sectors which have enjoyed a monopoly until now.”

Sharing economy firms have faced pushback elsewhere too, with Uber being accused of skirting regulations and making long-standing jobs obsolete, and Airbnb criticized for pushing up prices and transforming residential areas in many popular tourist destinations.

Takashi Sabetto, from an association that aims to promote the sharing economy, said in Japan “public opinion is very much against services like Airbnb and Uber.”

“We have tried to change this mentality but it is very difficult. It takes time,” added Sabetto.

One reason is that “Japanese are very protective of their privacy.”

The culture of sharing is not ingrained in society and — in the case of Airbnb — they do not like the noise and security risk caused by a procession of tourists in their backyard, he said.

In addition, unlike in many developed economies, the quality of service is very high in Japan. Hailing a taxi in a major city rarely takes more than a few seconds, lowering demand for Uber-type services.

Despite this bleak picture, there are some successes, notes Sabetto, with younger generations showing “a greater interest” in the sharing economy.

Car- and bike-sharing schemes are taking off and meal delivery service UberEATS has been a hit in Tokyo since arriving in 2016.

But local startups struggle to stay financially afloat, Sabetto said, in a country that tends to pride “monozukuri” — or craftsmanship — above innovation.

Some firms are moving away from the cities into the countryside, where a steady trend of depopulation has made the sharing economy more attractive.

Uber last month said it would launch a pilot program this summer to hook up tourists and residents with available drivers in the western Awaji island.

But Sabetto said a change in culture was needed for the sharing economy to really take root.

“I would like foreigners that are aware of the sharing economy to make their voice heard more to change the situation,” he said.

(Source: JT)

Meghan Markle's dresses have a secret feminist message

The duchess has worn dresses by female designers including Clare Waight Keller, Carolina Herrera and Stella McCartney

It’s a well-known fact that the Duchess of Cambridge is a very proud feminist, having represented the United Nations in 2016 as an advocate for women’s empowerment and gender equality.

The dresses that she’s worn at royal engagements since marrying Prince Harry have made that even more clear, due to her choice of designers.

If you cast an eye over the dresses that the duchess has donned at events such as Ascot and the Trooping of the Colour, you’ll notice that every single one has been created by a female designer.

It began with the much-anticipated dress that Meghan wore when she walked down the aisle on 19 May, which was designed by Clare Waight Keller.

Waight Keller became the first woman to be named artistic director of Givenchy last year.

Meghan has since gone on to wear dresses by Givenchy on two more occasions since the royal wedding, in addition to gowns by other female designers such as Carolina Herrera.

Here’s a breakdown of the dresses that Meghan’s worn since becoming a royal:

The wedding dress

The former Suits actor chose for Waight Keller to design her wedding dress due to her admiration for her “elegant aesthetic, impeccable tailoring and relaxed demeanour.”

The pair worked together to create a look that was minimalistic, meeting eight times for fittings prior to the nuptials.

The dress was designed with a bateau neckline, a feature that Meghan evidently has a particular affinity for.

Waight Keller created a double bonded silk cady material for the dress in pure white in order to give it a look that was matted and contemporary.

The evening reception gown

Following the afternoon reception of the wedding ceremony, the newlywed duke and duchess departed for their evening reception in a change of outfits.

Meghan wore a halterneck dress designed by Stella McCartney for the evening do, which was created with a low-back design.

“I felt that the dress represented her, it was a little whiff of her spirit. I love that,” McCartney told Vogue.

Following the wedding, McCartney put a replica of the dress up for sale for £3,500.

People interested in purchasing the dress were able to either through private appointment or by visiting the label’s Bond Street store during the week of 13 June.

The birthday celebrations

Meghan’s first public appearance after the royal wedding came 23 May, during the Prince of Wales’ 70th Birthday Patronage Celebration at Buckingham Palace.

She wore a £590 ‘Flavia Dress’ designed by Goat, a fashion brand founded by designer Jane Lewis in 2001.

The luxury label is a particular favourite of Meghan’s sister-in-law, the Duchess of Cambridge, and other celebrity clientele including Victoria Beckham and Gwyneth Paltrow.

The Trooping of the Colour

Earlier this month, the royal family celebrated Her Majesty the Queen’s 92nd birthday by attending the Trooping of the Colour.

During the event, Meghan wore an off-shoulder dress designed by Carolina Herrera.

A number of people speculated that the duchess was making a feminist statement with her choice of neckline, as it seemingly broke away from traditional royal protocol.

The outing with the Queen

A couple of weeks ago, Meghan attended her first public outing alone with the Queen when the pair visited Cheshire to open the Mersey Gateway Bridge and Chester’s Storyhouse Theatre.

The dress that Meghan chose to wear was another Givenchy piece, demonstrating Meghan’s clear admiration for Waight Keller.

Meghan’s decision to wear Givenchy was particularly poignant given the importance of her excursion with the grandmother-in-law.

The first trip to Ascot

On Tuesday last week, the duchess ventured to Royal Ascot for the very first time.

She chose to wear Givenchy yet again, wearing a white shirt-dress for the extravagant event.

Meghan chose not to wear the name tag that members of the royal family are usually expected to wear on the day, which some theorised was due to the delicacy of the fabric.

The Queen’s Young Leader Awards

A couple of days ago, Meghan and Prince Harry joined the Queen at Buckingham Palace to celebrate young people across the Commonwealth who have made a “lasting change in their community and beyond" as part of the Queen's Young Leader Awards.

The duchess opted to wear a Prada top and skirt for the event in a light pink hue.

Miuccia Prada is head designer and co-chief executive officer of the fashion house.

In 1992, Miuccia introduced the subsidiary line Miu Miu into the collection.

(Source: The Independent)