Monday 20 May 2019

As an owner of multiple ovens, I know the perils of letting photographers into one’s kitchen

James Brokenshire has been feeling the heat over his four ovens – but at least they weren’t as disgracefully filthy as mine

You’ve got to be careful when being filmed in your kitchen. It’s very easy for people to find stuff in there to hate you for. I’ve been on the end of that, so shame on me for having a good old tut at James Brokenshire, who was revealingly photographed in his kitchen for a Sunday newspaper. That said, two double ovens is an awful lot of oven. I’ve got more than one oven myself. Not as many as the Brokenshires, but more than two. And that’s all I’m saying.

Let them eat cake: James Brokenshire and his two double ovens in an image from Twitter. Photograph: Twitter/@JBrokenshire
I have used my kitchen for filming on various projects. I did so wary of the consequences, invasion of privacy etc. But television involves the most horrendous amount of faff, not least the finding of locations. In the interests of avoiding an endless journey to someone else’s kitchen, it is so much easier to get the crew to come to me. Hang the consequences.

And the consequences have been grave. For a Panorama I made about Brexit I cooked for two MPs: Rosie Duffield (Labour, Canterbury, People’s Voter) and Andrew Percy (Conservative, Brigg and Goole, Leaver, Maydealer). I carefully crafted a Brexit-themed lunch, serving up a range of cheap jokes. There was Irish stew, a starter with red lines of red pepper paste piped over the plate and, for pudding, Eton mess.

And all viewers could say was that my oven was disgracefully filthy. I’m not on Twitter, but Rosie helped me out by fielding the abuse for me and passing it on.

In any case, with ovens, it’s not the number of them, it’s the price of the things. I am deeply ashamed of what I was conned into paying for my features galore. It’s all nonsense. Ovens just need to get hot, to a specified temperature, and then cool down. That’s all. Get me model numbers for the Brokenshires’ gear, and then I will properly sit in judgment on them.

(Source: The Guardian)

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