Monday 27 February 2012

When life is pre-destined...

Sometimes I wonder, if I was destined to come and settle in the Gulf. Often I keep wondering how things in life make me to wonder if my fate was written earlier itself. All started when I was just in class one. I still remember how one day I had put the nappies of my small brother in a basket and told everybody at home that I'm going to foreign, to my husband's house and asked my mom to get me "tindi" snacks when she comes to see me. My mom's mom had bursted into laughter seeing me holding the basket, telling such dialogues. Everybody at home, including me, remember how tears were coming in her eyes while she was heartily laughing at my innocence. I sometimes hear my dad telling my mom that later he never saw such a hearty laughter coming from his mother-in-law. After that incident, my parents used to wonder if it would turn out to be real one day or the other, as they always think and believe that whatever small children tell innocently will become true at a later stage in the life.

Adding to this there was an another incident, which had my parents very angry. It was only the beginning of everything, I believe. My brother was around four or five-year-old then and we were staying in the village. He had this habit of going inside the village to play with other kids and it was difficult to catch him. So my mom had an idea to stop him from going inside the village, she used to put my frock and he never used to go in that attire and used to stay at home. But one day, after bath, my mom had forgotten to dress him and he had gone inside the village naked. When my parents got hold of him and my father beat him, he screamed in front of neighbours that your daughter will marry a foreigner and go away from you, then you will stop beating me... Hearing that, my dad had given him two or three extra thrashes. And now they remember how it has come true and how i married a guy who is from other state and now settled in the gulf.

During my school days, as far as I remember there were only two Muslim girls and in class 10, we all girls had gone for lunch to one of the girls' house during Ramadan. But then also, neither I nor my parents had any clue that one day  I would go and settle in the gulf. But much more obvious things happened during my college days. When I was in I PU, I had more than five to six Muslim girls who became my friends. One even tried teaching me Arabic and Urdu as I was eager to learn a new language. Azra, yes, her name was Azra Tahseen. She used to check my Arabic letters and yes, somehow i had picked up the alphabets until one day I forgot all of them,thanks to my studies and other activities. And then I didn't know that one day I would be learning Arabic in the Gulf. Yes, now I have passed the beginner's level of Arabic and I can read and write the alphabets and hold very basic conversations with Arabs with my broken language. Trust me I never knew that learning it would be that difficult... Had I had a fraction of clue about my living in Qatar in future, maybe I would have seriously learnt the language during my college days itself!

In the same gang, there was a Malayali girl, Mary Sharmila, who tried teaching me Malayalam, as it was very close to Tamil. I knew to read and write Tamil very well and she thought it would be easy for me to pick up Malayalam than Arabic, but don't know, somehow I didn't pay much attention towards that language as all the words had to nasal effect and we literally laughed at people when they talked in that language. Then also, Neither I nor my friends had any clue that one day I would end up marrying a Mallu and would move to Malayalais' favourite destination, the Middle East! And today I not only understand Malayalam, but also talk to Malayalis in their own language, hmm though never given a try to learn their alphabets, and there is no need as well, as Vij can read and write his language, I can read and write my language, besides Tamil, who often comes in handy while travelling in Tamil Nadu.

After my degree, I moved to Mysore to do my post graduation and then also I had a big gang of friends, of course, 90 per cent of them again Muslims. As I stayed and spent most of the time with them, many had even thought that I'm a Muslim! Some had thought that I might be in love with some Muslim guy, so I'm always with Muslims! Though I was not in love with any Muslim guy, yes there was a guy who was very serious about me and had even proposed to me, will tell about that incident in some other post sometimes later. Then also I didn't realise that all was pre-destined and one day I would move to the Islam country!

After finishing my post graduation I moved to Bangalore to join Krishik Foundation which trained civil service aspirants. There I met a girl who was a Malayali who was working as a journalist in one of the reputed English newspapers. She often talked about finding me a Malayali boy. How can I forget she even tried to play the role of matchmaker, yes, even to the extent of introducing me to one of her aged colleagues who kept on calling me later for a few months, even while he was drunk till I openly told him that I'm not interested in marriage and would like to pursue my studies. Later, my roommate's brother proposed to me telling that he wants to marry me. And funnily, it was the same girl who opposed her brother's idea of marrying me and he silently withdrew from the relationship, giving me a big jolt and it took me sometime to come out of that emotional attachment and to the fact that he's not gonna come back at all! Hehehe, that's a big story, yes an emotional one, and will share about that in some other post...

After the break-up, I didn't think that again I would meet a guy who again would turn out to be a Malayali and who would never leave me in between. Meeting this guy, Vij, my hubby was one of the most memorable days in my life and even when I met him, I had no clue that I would marry him one day... Friendship turned to love and ended in marriage and yes this happens to be another big story and was not like any other love story, as in most cases, we too faced so many hurdles before tying the knot, and September 23, 2007 united us in a strong bond, together forever and ever, not just emotionally, but also legally, we became husband and wife in the eyes of the world.

When we were dating, Vij's friends were moving to Dubai and he even I insisted that he go along with them as he could get better opportunities there, but no, he didn't dare to go, for he feared of losing me. Even when I assured him of waiting for his return, he didn't trust me, for he feared that my parents would marry me to somebody else and he would lose me. Hmm, then also no clue that one day the same guy would move to the Gulf in search of better opportunities. Nearly after one-and-a-half years of our wedding, he felt the need of moving abroad, circumstances were like that, he was not after money or job, but he wanted some sort of reloef and freedom, freedom from the pressure he was undergoing from his native, his people, me, my people, everyone and everything... It had become too much for him untilone day he decided to move to Qatar. Qatar, a tiny dot on the world map, never gained my attention except for the Doha conference which I had read in my civil service coaching classes. I had not dreamt that one day my fate would take me to the same tiny peninsula. Vij got better opportunities and it took him nearly one year and four to five months to convince me that I join him. I also felt very lonely without him, even though we talked to each other and saw each other every day over skype.

And it was last December I said goodbye to the job at Deccan Chronicle before joining Vij in Qatar in the last week of January 2011. Life took me from the IT hub, Garden City, which I loved and wanted to live forever, to desert. And today, we are making the desert look greener because we are together and our love is getting stronger and stronger with each passing day in the Middle East...

Now, shouldn't I call this as fate? Was my life not pre-destined? Whtever it is, I feel that there was some force which looked after my life and made me to Vij, who stood by my side through my ups and downs and took me to the Gulf. I have realised that whatever happens is for good and it will definitely have a purpose and sometimes we get to know and see them, and sometimes we don't get to know them, as we fail to recognise them...


  1. Good one. Yes, urs was pre-destined.

    God Bless. Wishing you and Viji a Happy Life ahead.

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