Sachin Tendulkar and butter chicken

Retiring India batting great Sachin Tendulkar has always lived under stress and pressure to fulfil the dreams of a billion Indians and his 24-year long international career is ending on a happy note, Ajit Tendulkar, elder brother of the legendary batsman, said.

Sachin will be retiring after playing his 200th Test, starting on Thursday here, and Ajit said it would be a different feeling once he hangs up his boots. “On the afternoon of November 18, it would be a different feeling. All of us in the family, we dream about his cricket…one we have shared. That will end, but it is finishing on a happy note. Most of his dreams have come true. I believe he has fulfilled the dreams of the Indian fans,” said Ajit during ‘Salaam Sachin’, an event organised by the India Today Group in honour of the iconic batsman.

“After November 18, Sachin won’t wear his India cap. It will be a big change because he has been wearing it with pride for 24 years. Throughout his career, everyone expected him to score 100s and he was under tremendous stress and pressure, but all that has been worth. After retirement, there won’t be the bowlers to face or those work-outs. Perhaps he can eat as much butter chicken as he wants,” he added.

Ajit Tendulkar

Ajit today walked down memory lane and remembered his younger brother’s early playing days, his millionaire status, their father’s demise, his best innings in international cricket and life after retiring. Sachin had become a millionaire at a very young age but for Ajit he was a millionaire only when he scored runs.

“For me he was a millionaire only when he got hundreds. He wasn’t one if he did not score. There was a charmin travelling in auto after he scored runs. But, travelling in a BMW after he didn’t scoring wasn’t all that good. At home, we spoke about his runs and not his money. After all these records, I can say, he is a millionaire forever,” said Ajit.

Sachin’s family has always tried to stay away from watching him live in action but Ajit said this time he along with the other members will watch him play as it is their last chance. “I will certainly watch this time. This is the last time and last opportunity for me. Our mother will watch him live for the first time. Lot of our friends would laugh at us as we stayed away all these years. We didn’t mind. But now all of us are looking forward to go,” he said.

Asked why the family never watched him live all these years, Ajit said: “There were few things which scared us when he was scoring heavily. One was his tendency to throw away his wicket. Raj Singh Dungarpur called our father once and told him, ‘Tell Sachin to start the car from 1st gear and not 5th’. “My mother would pray and sister would fast. Nitin (another brother) would also do something. I would try to create positive vibes before he would go to bat. Once a batsman goes to bat, nobody is in control, but it was an attempt from us to be with him in spirit.”  

Sachin is the youngest of the four siblings. Talking about the time when they lost their father in 1999, Ajit said: “If father would have come back to life for even five minutes, he would have told Sachin to go and play the 1999 World Cup.

“Our father had suffered a heart-attack in May when Indian team was in Sri Lanka. At night, I told our father that ’Sachin will bat tomorrow and I will not tell him that you are not fine’. Then I went back to our father and told him that Sachin got a ton and he was thrilled. We all felt he should go and play forIndia at the World Cup.”

Reflecting on Sachin’s innings of 136 against Pakistan in Chennai, Ajit said: “I think, Sachin would have won the game for India. I am not saying it was the most important innings (of his career), but my favourite innings.

“When he came from the New Zealand tour, I spoke to him. He said he was really tired and may not play against Pakistan. I was disheartened as he had a chance to play against Wasim and Waqar. In the first innings at Chennai, he was out for zero. The match reached an interesting stage on Day Four and he was batting on 20-odd. The wicket was tough and he went out to bat when India were six for two. “I felt he had to help India win and perform for himself. That was a test of his nerve and skill.”

Of all the accolades that Sachin has received in his career, Ajit remembers one compliment that he got from a friend during the Sharjah innings. “After his Sharjah innings, my friend called and said, ’My mother watched the match and cried as Sachin was batting so beautifully’. That is the best compliment.”

Ajit and Sachin Tendulkar

It was Ajit, who had taken Sachin to coach Ramakant Achrekar when he was just 11 and had no experience of playing with hard ball. Recalling the time, Ajit said: “There were three things I noticed in Sachin as a child. His easy bat lift, the lovely swing of his bat, his judgement of the length of the ball and ball striking. So I took him to Achrekar.

“The first day he did not have the proper clothing, he was in shorts, so Achrekar asked him to wear full trousers. The first day he was made to take a few catches and I was surprised to see him do well. Once he got the kit, Achrekar sir picked the No. 4 spot for him in the line-up.”

Asked if he ever had any arguments with Sachin, Ajit said: “Other than cricket, we do not talk anything else too much. Credit to Sachin as he heard me. He has faced toughest bowlers in difficult conditions. I watched on television and gave him suggestions. He took them in his stride. Not having gone to the ground and experienced, may be wrong on my part.”

He also narrated an incident when Sachin had boarded a taxi to the airport: “I was in his BMW and there was a lot of luggage. As we drove, he said that there is something wrong in the car and we saw the tyre punctured. We parked the car, but we did not have the security guard with us,” Ajit said.

“It was early morning, so there wasn’t enough rush. We couldn’t ask for another car as he had to reach the airport. I called for an auto and a taxi, and the drivers couldn’t believe when they saw. We put the luggage. Sachin was in the taxi. Once we reached the airport, everyone were surprised to see him in a taxi. It was quite funny.”

(Source: PTI)

How much do you know about Sachin Tendulkar?

Only Ricky Ponting has scored more home – Test runs than Sachin. Most Test runs at home: Ponting (7578), TENDULKAR (7132), Kallis (6886), Jayawardene (6846), Lara (6217), Gooch (5917).

11 players who were born after Tendulkar’s Test debut yet played with or against him are Adrian Barath, Powell, Abhinav Mukund, Brathwaite, Joe Root, Williamson, John Bracewell, Unadkat, Rubel Hossain, James Pattinson & Mitchell Starc.

Sachin has got the world record in scoring exact 100 in international cricket: 8 times. Second best is 4 – Len Hutton/Shoaib Malik/J Kallis/K Pietersen/M Jayawardene.

Only Ricky Ponting has been part of more ODI wins than Sachin – Ponting 262 wins, Tendulkar 234 wins.

Sachin has got the maximum Man of the Match awards in Test cricket by an Indian. 14 Man of the Match in 198 Tests.

Only 4 players have longer career than Sachin in Test cricket.

Tendulkar is the only Indian cricketer who has won the Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna, Arjuna Award and Padma Shri.

Sachin is the only player to score a century in his debut – Ranji Trophy, Duleep Trophy and Irani Cup matches.

Sachin is the youngest player to enter the Ranji team at 14.

Sachin has played six editions of the 50-over World Cup, from 1992 to 2011, Only Pakistan?s Javed Miandad, has played in 6 World Cups( from 1975 to 1996 ).

Hyderabad and Kanpur are 2 Test centers in India where Sachin has never scored a Test hundred.

Zimbabwe is the only country where Sachin hasn’t scored a Test century.

Sachin has scored most boundaries (fours) in test cricket. 2045(Till India-Australia series 2013)

Sachin has scored most away hundreds in Tests. 29 (Till India-Australia series 2013).

Sachin has reached Test hundred by hitting a SIX most times in the history of Test cricket (6 times [Till India-Australia series 2013]).

Sachin Tendulkar’s farewell speech

Sachin Tendulkar played his last day of international cricket at the Wankhede, and after India sealed the series against West Indies, he gave an emotional farewell speech. The full text of it is here:

All my friends. Settle down let me talk, I will get more and more emotional (crowd gets louder and louder as he composes himself). My life, between 22 yards for 24 years, it is hard to believe that that wonderful journey has come to an end, but I would like to take this opportunity to thank people who have played an important role in my life. Also, for the first time in my life I am carrying this list, to remember all the names in case I forget someone. I hope you understand. It's getting a little bit difficult to talk but I will manage.

The most important person in my life, and I have missed him a lot since 1999 when he passed away, my father. Without his guidance, I don't think I would have been standing here in front of you. He gave me freedom at the age of 11, and told me that [I should] chase my dreams, but make sure you do not find short cuts. The path might be difficult, but don't give up, and I have simply followed his instructions. Above all, he told me to be a nice human being, which I will continue to do and try my best. Every time I have done something special [and] showed my bat, it was [for] my father.

My mother, I don't know how she dealt with such a naughty child like me. I was not easy to manage. She must be extremely patient. For a mother, the most important thing is that her child remains safe and healthy and fit. That was what she was most bothered and worried about. She took care of me for the last 24 years that I have played for India, but even before that she started praying for me the day I started playing cricket. She just prayed and prayed and I think her prayers and blessings have given me the strength to go out and perform, so a big thank you to my mother for all the sacrifices.

In my school days, for four years, I stayed with my uncle and aunt because my school was quite far from my home, and they treated me like their son. My aunt, after having had a hard day's play, I would be half asleep and she would be feeding me food so I could go again and play tomorrow. I can't forget these moments. I am like their son and I am glad it has continued to be the same way.

My eldest brother, Nitin, and his family, have always encouraged me. My eldest brother doesn't like to talkmuch, but the one thing he always told me is that whatever you do, I know you will always give it 100%, and that I have full faith and confidence in you. His encouragement meant a lot to me. My sister, Savita, and her family, was no different. The first cricket bat of my life was presented to me by my sister. It was a Kashmir willow bat. But that is where the journey began. She is one of those many who still continue to fast when I bat, so thank you very much.

Ajit, my brother, now what do I talk about him? I don't know. We have lived this dream together. He was the one who sacrificed his career for my cricket. He spotted the spark in me. And it all started from the age of 11 when he took me to Archrekar sir, my coach, and from there on my life changed. You will find this hard to believe but even last night he called to discuss my dismissal, knowing that there was a remote chance of batting again, but just the habit we have developed, the rapport we have developed, since my birth, has continued and it will continue. Maybe when I'm not playing cricket we will still be discussing technique.

Various things we agreed upon, my technique, and so many technical things which I didn't agree with him, we have had arguments and disagreements, but when I look back at all these things in my life, I would have been a lesser cricketer.

The most beautiful thing happened to me in 1990 when I met my wife, Anjali. Those were special years and it has continued and will always continue that way. I know Anjali, being a doctor; there was a wonderful career in front of her. When we decided to have a family, Anjali took the initiative to step back and say that 'you continue with your cricket and I will take the responsibility of the family'.

Without that, I don't think I would have been able to play cricket freely and without stress. Thanks for bearing with all my fuss and all my frustrations, and all sorts of rubbish that I have spoken. Thanks for bearing with me and always staying by my side through all the ups and downs. You are the best partnership I've had in my life.

Then, the two precious diamonds of my life, Sara and Arjun. They have already grown up. My daughter is 16, my son is 14. Time has flown by. I wanted to spend so much time with them on special occasions like their birthdays, their annual days, their sports day, going on holidays, whatever. I have missed out on all those things. Thanks for your understanding. Both of you have been so, so special to me you cannot imagine. I promise you [that] for 14 and 16 years I have not spent enough time with both of you, but the next 16 years or even beyond that, everything is for you.

My in-laws, Anand Mehta and Annabelle, both have been so, so supportive [and] loving and caring. I have discussed on various things in life, generally with them, and have taken their advice. You know, it's so important to have a strong family who is always with you and who are guiding you. Before you start clapping, the most important thing they did was allowing me to marry Anjali, so thank you very much.

In the last 24 years that I have played for India I have made new friends, and before that I have had friends from my childhood. They have all had a terrific contribution. As and when I have called them to come and bowl to me at the nets, they have left their work aside to come and help me. Be it joining me on holidays and having discussions with me on cricket, or how I was a little stressed and wanting to find a solution so I can perform better.

All those moments my friends were with me. Even for when I was injured, I would wake up in the morning because I couldn't sleep and thought that my career was over because of injuries, that is when my friends have woken up at 3 o'clock in the morning to drive with me and make me believe that my career was not over. Life would be incomplete without all those friends. Thanks for being there for me.

My cricket career started when I was 11. The turning point of my career was when my brother (Ajit) took me to Achrekar sir. I was extremely delighted to see him up in the stands. Normally he sits in front of the television and he watches all the games that I play. When I was 11/12, those were the days when I used to hop back on his scooter and play a couple of practice matches a day. The first half the innings I would be batting at Shivaji Park, the second half, at some other match in Azad Maidan. He would take me all over Mumbai to make sure I got match practice.

On a lighter note, in the last 29 years, sir has never ever said 'well played' to me because he thought I would get complacent and I would stop working hard. Maybe he can push his luck and wish me now, well done on my career, because there are no more matches, sir, in my life. I will be witnessing cricket, and cricket will always stay in my heart, but you have had an immense contribution in my life, so thank you very much.

My cricket for Mumbai started right here on this ground, the Mumbai Cricket Association (MCA), which is so dear to me. I remember landing from New Zealand at four o'clock in the morning, and turning up for a game here at eight o'clock just because I wanted to be a part of Mumbai cricket, and not that somebody forced me. That was for the love of Mumbai cricket, and thank you very much. The president is here so thank you very much, along with your team, for taking care of me and looking after my cricket.

The dream was obviously to play for India, and that is where my association with BCCI started. BCCI was fantastic, right from my debut they believed in my ability and selecting me into the squad at the age of 16 was a big step, so thanks to all the selectors for having faith in me and the BCCI for giving me the freedom to express myself out in the middle. Things would have been different if you had not been behind me, and I really appreciate your support. Especially when I was injured, you were right with me and making sure that all the treatments were taken care of, and that I got fit and fine and playing [right] back for India.

The journey has been special, the last 24 years, I have played with many senior cricketers, and even before that there were many senior cricketers with whom I watched on television. They inspired me to play cricket, and to play in the right way. Thanks to all those senior cricketers, and unfortunately I have not been able to play with them, but I have high regards for all their achievements and all their contributions.

We see it on the mega-screen, Rahul, Laxman, Sourav, and Anil, who is not here, and my team-mates right here in front me. You are like my family away from home. I have had some wonderful times with you. It is going to be difficult to not be part of the dressing room, sharing those special moments. All the coaches for their guidance, it has been special for me. I know when MS Dhoni presented me the 200th Test match cap on day one morning. I had a brief message for the team. I would like to repeat that. I just feel that all of us are so, so fortunate and proud to be part of the Indian cricket team and serving the nation.

Knowing all of you guys, I know you will continue to serve the nation in the right spirit and right values. I believe we have been the lucky ones to be chosen by the Almighty to serve this sport. Each generation gets this opportunity to take care of this sport and serve it to the best of our ability. I have full faith in you to continue to serve the nation in the right spirit and to the best of your ability, to bring all the laurels to the country. All the very best.

I would be failing in my duties if I did not thank all the doctors, the physios, the trainers, who have put this difficult body together to go back on the field and be able to play. The amount of injuries that I have had in my career, I don't know how you have managed to keep me fit, but without your special efforts, it would never have happened. The doctors have met me at weird hours. I mean I have called them from Mumbai to Chennai, Mumbai to Delhi, I mean wherever. They have just taken the next flight and left their workand families to be with me, which has allowed me to play. So a big thank you to all three of you for keeping me in good shape.

My dear friend, late Mark Mascarenhas, my first manager. We unfortunately lost him in a car accident in 2001, but he was such a well-wisher of cricket, my cricket, and especially Indian cricket. He was so passionate. He understood what it takes to represent a nation and gave me all the space to go out and express myself, and never pressurized me to do this ad or promotion or whatever the sponsors demanded. He took care of that and today I miss him, so thank you Mark for all your contribution.

My current management team, WSG, for repeating what Mark has done, because when I signed the contract I exactly told them what I want from them, and what it requires to represent me. They have done that and respected that.

Someone who has worked closely with me for 14 years is my manager, Vinod Nayudu. He is more like my family and all the sacrifices, spending time away from his family for my work, has been special, so big thank you to his family as well for giving up so much time for my work with Vinod.

In my school days, when I performed well, the media backed me a lot. They continue to do that till this morning. Thank you so much to the media for supporting and appreciating my performances. It surely had a positive effect on me. Thank you so much to all the photographers as well for those wonderfully captured moments that will stay with me for the rest of my life, so a big thank you to all the photographers.

I know my speech is getting a bit too long (crowd roars), but this is the last thing I want to say. I want to thank all the people here who have flown in from various parts of the world, and have supported me endlessly, whether I scored a 0 or a 100-plus. Your support was so dear to me and meant a lot to me. Whatever you have done for me.

I know I have met so many guys who have fasted for me, prayed for me, done so much for me. Without that life wouldn't have been like this for me. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, and also say that time has flown by rather quickly, but the memories you have left with me will always be with me forever and ever, especially "Sachin, Sachin" which will reverberate in my ears till I stop breathing. Thank you very much. If I have missed out on saying something, I hope you understand. Goodbye.

Top 5 regrets on the deathbead

Bronnie Ware, a nurse, writer, singer/songwriter and songwriting teacher, has released a book titled The Top Five Regrets of the Dying - A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, based on the below article. It is a memoir of Bronnie’s life and how it was transformed through the regrets of the dying people she cared for.

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard. 
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. 
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. 
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

First cousin marriages in Muslim communities are putting hundreds of children at risk

The man wept as he told how his beautiful, dark-eyed child died in a hospital cot with medical tubes snaking from his frail body as nurses fought unsuccessfully to save him. Sick with pneumonia, the two-year-old gave up the battle for life.

A rare tragedy, you might think, in modern Britain, with all the advances of medical science.

But in the terraced streets of Bradford, Yorkshire, a child’s death is anything but rare. At the boy’s inquest, coroner Mark Hinchliffe said Hamza Rehman had died because his Pakistan-born parents (shopkeeper Abdul and housewife Rozina) are first cousins. 

Four years before, Hamza’s older sister, three-month-old Khadeja, had died of the same brain disorder which causes fits, sickness and chest infections. The couple had another baby born with equally devastating neurological problems.  

A heartbroken Mr Rehman told the inquest that he and his wife were unsure whether to have any more children. The coroner expressed deep sympathy before saying that Hamza’s death should serve as a warning to others.

He said: ‘This highlights a cultural and religious issue relating to first-cousin marriages and the potential risk to children that some medical experts say can result from such unions.’

The coroner chose his words carefully, since he was addressing one of the most controversial — and taboo — subjects in multi-cultural Britain: marriage between cousins in the Muslim communities which has left hundreds, if not thousands, of children damaged or dead. 

This week, leading geneticist Professor Steve Jones, of University College London, warned that ‘inbreeding’ in Islamic communities was threatening the health of generations of children.

He said: ‘We should be concerned as there can be a lot of hidden genetic damage and children are much more likely to get two copies of a damaged gene.’ 

He highlighted Bradford as a city that was ‘very inbred’.

This is not the first time the distressing issue has been raised. Ann Cryer, the Labour MP for nearby Keighley, has said that cousin marriages are medieval, harm children and are arranged in order to keep wealth and property within families. 

‘It is not fair to the children or to the NHS which has to treat them. If you go into a paediatric ward in Bradford or Keighley, you will find more than half the kids are from the Asian community,’ she said.

Since Asians form only 20 to 30 per cent of the population, that figure is clearly disproportionate.

Mrs Cryer recalled the case of a young girl in hospital who had to carry an oxygen tank on her back and breathe from a hole in the front of her neck.

‘Her parents were warned by doctors not to have more children,’ she explained.

‘But when the husband returned again from Pakistan, his wife had given birth within months to another child with exactly the same condition.’

Are the MP’s words, and those of Professor Jones, inflammatory or simply a truth that needs to  be aired?

Sadly, the facts speak for themselves. British Pakistanis, half of whom marry a first cousin (a figure that is universally agreed), are 13 times more likely to produce children with genetic disorders than the general population, according to Government-sponsored research.

One in ten children from these cousin marriages either dies in infancy or develops a serious life-threatening disability.  

While British Pakistanis account for three per cent of the births in this country, they are responsible for 33 per cent of the 15,000 to 20,000 children born each year with genetic defects.

The vast majority of problems are caused by recessive gene disorders, according to London’s Genetic Interest Group, which advises affected families.

Everyone carries some abnormal genes, but most people don’t have a defect because the normal gene overrules the abnormal one.

But if a husband and wife both have an abnormal recessive gene, they have a one in four chance of producing a child with defects.

These include blindness, deafness, blood ailments such as sickle cell anaemia, heart or kidney failure, lung or liver problems and myriad complex neurological or brain disorders.

Even their healthy children have a one in four chance of being a carrier of a defect, with terrible implications for the next generation.

The problem is most serious in Bradford. A recent survey of 1,100 pregnant women in the city showed that 70 per cent have husbands who are first cousins — a higher percentage than the average of 50 per cent among Pakistanis across the whole of Britain.

It is no surprise therefore that more than six per cent of children in Bradford have health defects, with paediatric wards looking after countless children, including teenagers lying in nappies who are unable to speak and are fed through a tube.

Meanwhile, the city’s special schools struggle to cope with huge numbers of pupils with learning difficulties.

Bradford’s St Luke’s Hospital has seen an extraordinary rise in the number of different types of genetic disorders. Some are very rare and, hitherto, unknown in Britain.

In a typical health authority area, the range of different types of genetic disorder total 25 a year. But in Bradford, 140 have been diagnosed, according to Dr Peter Corry, a consultant paediatrician at the hospital.

Many are degenerative ailments which lead to a decline in the ability of the brain and spinal cord to function properly after a child is born, as in the case of Hamza and Khadeja. Their bodies weakened, and unable to fight off infections, they gradually faded away.

The British Paediatric Surveillance Unit says eight per cent of all UK children born with this kind of neuro-degenerative condition come from Bradford, although the city has just one per cent of the UK’s population.

Research into the city’s 9,000 disabled youngsters also revealed a ‘disproportionately high’ level of hearing and sight problems in Pakistani families.

But Bradford is not alone. In Birmingham, which also has a big Pakistani community, the city’s Primary Care Trust estimates that one in ten of all children born to first cousins either dies in infancy or goes on to have a serious disability because of a recessive gene disorder.

Yet cousin marriages — and the resulting consequences — remain a taboo subject. Few of the affected families will discuss the issue publicly.

Many NHS doctors, while admitting privately there is a crisis, refuse to speak out for fear of being branded ‘racist’.

However, on Muslim websites the issue is discussed more freely. An Asian health worker wrote recently: ‘I went to two special schools in my city. One was for children with physical disabilities; the other with kids who had learning difficulties.

‘The children at the second school were aged 13 to 19. None of them was capable of functioning beyond the behaviour expected of an infant. They all wore nappies.

‘They didn’t speak, a few grunts aside. All needed inordinate amounts of special care, from doctors, speech therapists and so on. The parents are drained emotionally.

‘Of the six 16-year-olds at the second school, five were Pakistani and one was a Tamil. All had blood-related ancestry. I rest my case: cousin marriages don’t work.’

So why are cousin marriages so popular?

As one British-Pakistani put it bluntly on a similar website: ‘A main reason why this corrupt practice is still followed in Britain is because the family wants to keep their property, land, jewellery and money in the family.

‘The lack of education in families, along with a Pakistani village culture, encourages these incestuous marriages. The children are born disabled and it must cost the NHS millions of pounds to treat them. Maybe if the NHS refused to treat the children the families would have second thoughts.’

They were harsh words. But this week I was told by charity workers, doctors and counsellors working with families in Yorkshire, Lancashire and the Midlands that many parents also believe it is an ‘act of God’ or the ‘will of Allah’ that their children are born disabled. 

According to Zed Ali, manager of a Lancashire charity, Project BME (Black Minority Ethnics), some parents think that if their children die, they will become angels in heaven. 

‘It is hard to counter these religious views without offending the Pakistani community,’ she says.

Zed, who has what she calls dual-heritage Asian and British background, was a social worker in Burnley, Lancashire, before founding Project BME. 

She said: ‘In Burnley, I saw a huge number of children from cousin marriages with learning disabilities. It was often not just one child, but two or three in one family.

‘When it comes to cousin marriages, the boy and girl often have no choice.

‘Their families don’t take their happiness into account. Marriage is arranged by the parents or grandparents, who are also often related to each other. 

'A girl will be told she is marrying her cousin when she is 14, 15 or 16. They catch them young before they are old enough to break away from the family. The girls are frightened of being ostracised if they don’t do it. A male cousin is chosen in Pakistan to marry them.

‘It is cruel because of the possible consequences. Arranged marriages can work, but they can be a form of abuse to both sexes.’

In Bradford, Dr Peter Corry says he knows of one family with six children all with the same genetic neurological disorder, which means none of them will survive to adulthood.

A Muslim doctor trying to tackle the problem is Mohamed Walji, who runs a health centre in Balsall Heath, Birmingham.

‘The huge number of applications for child disability allowances in our multicultural cities and towns shows the reality,’ he explains.

‘We all carry mutations in our genome [the genetic blueprint for our body] — half of which comes from our father and half from our mother. But the chances of carrying the same mutations is higher in first cousins and those marrying within very close-knit communities.

‘If they both carry the same mutations, there is a one-in-four chance of having an affected child — which can result in anything from a mild disability to a catastrophic illness or a miscarriage.’

Dr Walji says the consequences are devastating — not only to the sick child, but also to siblings, parents and the extended family.

There are endless hospital visits and one of the parents has to become a full-time carer. At worst, there is the trauma of watching a child die or suffer from a long-term illness with no cure.

Dr Walji has discussed how cousin marriages were damaging local families with the imam in his local mosque, who has since given lectures about the dangers of such unions to children.

‘It has had quite an impact,’ says Dr Walji, proudly. ‘It has led to fewer cousin marriages.’

Yet you only have to read the internet messages on Muslim medical forums to understand the scale of this tragedy.   

One young mother, calling herself by the Pakistani name of Shenzah, wrote recently: ‘I have a huge difficulty. I am married to a first cousin. My parents and my husband’s parents were also married to their first cousins.

‘Now I have one daughter with lots of defects and the doctor is sure it is due to these marriages.

‘I was against marrying a first cousin because I believed it would cause genetic problems, but my family forced me. According to them, what the doctors say is all nonsense.

‘I cannot understand why cousin marriages are not forbidden in Islam. The Koran doesn’t forbid it and this encourages people around me to disbelieve what the doctors say.

‘My daughter is not going to survive for long and the doctors are unable to find out what she is suffering from.

‘They are sure if I get pregnant again, the risk for the next baby will be the same.’

She said she had two options: ‘One is to give up the idea of having any children, ever. The other is to get a divorce. Please, can anyone tell me what to do?’

These are despairing words which will bring little comfort to so many families across Britain who, like Abdul and Rozina Rehman, grieve the loss of their precious children.

(Source: Dailymail)