Weddings in India are a big deal and there are a lot of expectations attached to one. However, despite it being the 21st century, love marriages are still looked down upon and the one thing couples dread telling their parents is that they want to get married to someone they love. Thanks to rigid society, there are many who have to resort to running away or eloping to lead a happy life. And while society generally looks down on it as a shameful act, we choose to disagree. Eloping, if you truly love someone and want to stay happy together, is not shameful at all! In fact, you should be proud of your decision to elope. Yes, your parents will be hurt and angry but then, hopefully someday, when they see you happy, they will understand it was for the best. Still not convinced? Here's why eloping is actually the best way to get married! Bhaag ke shaadi rocks!
Psst: These days, small private ceremonies where no one except close family is invited is also called eloping! Weird, but whatever rocks your boat.
1. Think of all the money you'll save!
Weddings are an expensive affair. Especially Indian weddings. Just the couple-to-be's clothes cost in thousands, forget the venue and food! Indian weddings are honestly a tamasha where money flows like water and whatever you do, it's never enough. A normal rose on a regular day might cost Rs 10 but in your wedding bouquet, it'll suddenly cost Rs 50! And when ever are you going to use those things again? Especially your wedding clothes. They're just there for a few hours! Think of all the costs you'll be eliminating when you decide to do a bhaag-ke-shaadi. It's seriously the best advantage of eloping. Use that money and go on a world tour with your better half instead.
2. Pretty stress-free wedding.
There's nothing gorgeous about the Indian wedding for the bride and groom's families. It is a lavish show put on for the guests that sucks the life out of the poor families. The hundreds of hours of shopping, hunting for the perfect card, make up, visiting and inviting guests, looking for food, venue, etc is tiring to say the least. And for modern couples who have to balance out their careers and look after the arrangements, it can be a nightmare! The only thing you need to do before eloping is packing a small bag with essentials. There's stress but of a different kind. Elopements are pretty stress-free and they do keep you happy.
3. Awesome tales to tell your kids.
Just think of how amazed your kids will be when you tell them of your wedding. You will have such fun stories to tell them of everything from how you planned to elope to how you made it a success. And your kids will understand the fact that it is not that shameful an act at all! It is only two consenting adults taking a step to stay happy for life which is denied to them by a hypocritical society. People don't really elope for fun. They elope due to reasons as crappy as caste, religion, "love marriage is a crime", status etc. The sooner your children understand stupid norms don't matter, the better.
4. It is adventurous as hell!
Who said eloping is boring? There's absolutely no predicting what will happen next. There's a slight fear and trepidation. The fear of the unknown. You're worried about facing your parents after the deed is done. But there is also happiness in knowing that the step taken is the right step. Eloping is crazy adventurous and can be fun if planned the right way. Weddings are an adventure in themselves and add to the thrill of a secret wedding in India and you will understand exactly what we're talking about!
5. No meddling relatives.
There's only 2 reasons relatives go to a wedding, and we're not talking about the close, nice variety. One is to judge what the bride and groom are wearing and how pathetic the jodi looks; and second is to criticise the food. No matter what you do at a wedding, you can never, ever satisfy the relatives. Plus, relatives will always have tips and pointers for how a thing should be done or should not be done. You can gash your teeth in frustration but they won't budge. And your poor parents won't really have any option but to listen to what the "elders" say. Seriously, a relatives-free wedding can be pure bliss!
6. No social evils at your wedding.
When you elope, the guy in question knows he is definitely not getting any dowry. He elopes with you because he loves you, not for ulterior motives. And the bride understands that she's marrying the guy, not an ATM machine. Marriages where the partners elope are generally hassle free and the couple is away from social evils.
However, before you elope, do remember that this is India. There might be people who will track you down and make your life miserable. The "miya biwi raazi to kya karega kazi" quote sounds cool, but for those living in the interiors, it really is not.
7. Your partner is a partner for life.
Eloping is not easy. The bride and groom need to give up a lot - their parents, families, lifestyles and sometimes even the city/place of work to elope and make their marriage work. But they also need to realise that their partner is truly theirs. Come what may, they know the partner will stand by them, always. The partner has the guts to stand up for his/her love and is willing to do everything to secure their future and happiness. There's no other proof you need.
8. It's cool.
Honestly, it is. It's something crazy and adventurous, that will make you feel like a rebel. You will always be the 'cool' ones among your friends and once your family accepts your decision (it does happen eventually), you can all sit together and laugh over it. Eloping, if done for the right reasons is a pretty cool step to take. Trust us, your kids will look up to you and go 'whoa!' always!
9. Your wedding, your way.
You make the rules at your wedding. You are the only one who plans and executes. The responsibility is your own. There's no blame game to be played at a later date if by chance, things don't work out. You want to do it in a temple or a courtroom or a church, it is your choice. There's no one telling you to do a million things you don't understand or chant mantras and songs that simply make no sense. You make the decisions and stick by them. Doesn't matter if it is just the two of you doing your pheras by a candle and then going get yourself registered. As long as you're happy, that is all that matters.
10. No planning for months.
A wedding, if you've ever seen one up close, is a long, tedious affair. Getting an interview with the President might be easier but booking a wedding hall is an impossible task, and finishing all the shopping never ends. Brides, grooms and families start planning the wedding months in advance and the saving up begins years before. There's no need for an elaborate plan before eloping. You just need to fix up on the time and date and the method of sneaking out of the house. Sorted!
11. Freedom to wear what you want or have your own rituals.
Have you ever rolled your eyes when your parents forbade you from wearing a particular colour/type of dress at 'auspicious' functions? Well, for the wedding, get married in a BLACK t-shirt or jeans or wear a backless choli. Nobody will really care. You can wear what you want, the way you want it. Also, you can have your own rituals. If you feel a particular ritual is not for you or you are against it, you can just skip it. There's no pressure.
12. Have a f*ck awesome honeymoon.
With all the money you saved up avoiding that big, fat, expensive wedding, just pack your bags and go for a long honeymoon to your dream location. Considering the fact that a simple, budget wedding will still cost you anywhere from 3 lakhs to 10 lakhs minimum, you can tour all of Europe and the US with parts of Africa inserted in that amount. And trust us, spending on a honeymoon is much better than spending on a wedding, of which no one ever remembers anything except how bad the food was and how hideous the bride's lehenga looked.
13. Save up for the future.
If you decide to not splurge, we guarantee, you will still have enough money left to begin a happy life together. Invest the amount wisely and save up for the future. A wedding in India is more of a headache for families than joy because of all the expenses involved. Elopement means hardly any expense and the bride and groom can actually save up for their future. They might even be able to buy that coveted house, despite property prices in India!
14. Your wedding will be legen-wait for it-dary.
It will. You and the world will remember it forever. And your kids will love you for being so 'daring and cool'. Plus, they will know that their parents are really understanding when it comes to matters of the heart or otherwise and might just share things with you more easily!
15. No breaking head over the guest-list and bridesmaids.
At any Indian wedding, who to invite and who can be skipped forms the most important question. You might not want to invite that long lost aunt who you or your parents haven't seen since you were maybe 1 month old but still, she once upon a time invited you to her son's wedding. And so you have to invite her. And well, for the bride it is always a confusion about which of her cousins or friends she should choose for her bridesmaids. You solve all the hassles by deciding to elope. Only a few chosen friends/cousins will know of your plans and just one among them, the bridesmaid. Your wedding, your call. Oh and absolutely no cheek pinching aunties!
16. No photo-bombers.
Photo-bombers can seriously ruin wedding albums! And at your wedding, there will be more people taking selfies than letting the photographer do the job. In all the photo craze, the poor bride and groom are probably just shunned aside. Now, there are no such hassles if you decide to elope. And for those who think, just because you eloped, you won't have pics, think again! You can hire a special photographer and do a wedding shoot. Plus, you have all the time in the world with no Pundit breathing down your neck asking you to hurry up. You can click crazy funny pictures and no one will care!
17. Know who your real friends are.
It is at such times you realise who will stand by you and accompany you to court to be your witnesses. Or who can keep the secret from your family and society. You just cannot elope without some help and it is only your true friends who will stand by you at this tough time. However fun it might sound, weddings are a serious affair and especially for the bride when she does not have any family or support by her. It is only these friends who will stand by you at such times.
18. No tons of unwanted gifts.
No cookers, mixers, juicers, stupid coupons, terrible clothes, Rs 100 envelopes, etc, etc. Just imagine!
19. No post-wedding rituals that suck the life out of you.
Oh yes, this. Like the wedding wasn't enough, the bride and groom barely get a day off and they have to begin the process of rites and rituals all over again. There's no such hassles if you decide to elope and you can live in peace, just de-stress post your wedding and enjoy the honeymoon. No need to dress almost like a bride everyday and be judged for everything wrong you did as you were too tired and sleepless from your hectic wedding schedule.
20. You'll continue to glow even post the wedding.
The pre-wedding glow generally ebbs right after the wedding thanks to all the stress and running around. And sometimes, it is thanks to bad make-up quality or the glaring lights. However, since you are pretty relaxed post eloping, there's no fear of your glow dimming. In fact, you'll glow even more thanks to 'love' and all that.
21. No weight issues post wedding.
This is one problem all Indian brides and grooms face. They diet for months leading to the wedding to get that perfect figure and as soon as the wedding is done? Well, the lunch and dinner invites from friends and relatives start pouring in. And the couple just can't say 'no'. Even if they try to say no, they are just pushed into eating more and finishing everything. It invariably results in amazing weight gain. Wedding food, plus rich food by relatives, plus a fortnight of binge-eating on your honeymoon. Result? You feel like a mini-elephant. No such hassles with an elopement as you don;t have a 1000 relatives to visit. Cook your own food and eat and stay healthy!
22. Show society how much it actually matters.
Which is not at all. This is the best way to show society that no one really cares about those stupid chaar log. And that you are your own master. In your face, hypocrites!
(Source: India Times)
Psst: These days, small private ceremonies where no one except close family is invited is also called eloping! Weird, but whatever rocks your boat.
1. Think of all the money you'll save!
Weddings are an expensive affair. Especially Indian weddings. Just the couple-to-be's clothes cost in thousands, forget the venue and food! Indian weddings are honestly a tamasha where money flows like water and whatever you do, it's never enough. A normal rose on a regular day might cost Rs 10 but in your wedding bouquet, it'll suddenly cost Rs 50! And when ever are you going to use those things again? Especially your wedding clothes. They're just there for a few hours! Think of all the costs you'll be eliminating when you decide to do a bhaag-ke-shaadi. It's seriously the best advantage of eloping. Use that money and go on a world tour with your better half instead.
2. Pretty stress-free wedding.
There's nothing gorgeous about the Indian wedding for the bride and groom's families. It is a lavish show put on for the guests that sucks the life out of the poor families. The hundreds of hours of shopping, hunting for the perfect card, make up, visiting and inviting guests, looking for food, venue, etc is tiring to say the least. And for modern couples who have to balance out their careers and look after the arrangements, it can be a nightmare! The only thing you need to do before eloping is packing a small bag with essentials. There's stress but of a different kind. Elopements are pretty stress-free and they do keep you happy.
3. Awesome tales to tell your kids.
Just think of how amazed your kids will be when you tell them of your wedding. You will have such fun stories to tell them of everything from how you planned to elope to how you made it a success. And your kids will understand the fact that it is not that shameful an act at all! It is only two consenting adults taking a step to stay happy for life which is denied to them by a hypocritical society. People don't really elope for fun. They elope due to reasons as crappy as caste, religion, "love marriage is a crime", status etc. The sooner your children understand stupid norms don't matter, the better.
4. It is adventurous as hell!
Who said eloping is boring? There's absolutely no predicting what will happen next. There's a slight fear and trepidation. The fear of the unknown. You're worried about facing your parents after the deed is done. But there is also happiness in knowing that the step taken is the right step. Eloping is crazy adventurous and can be fun if planned the right way. Weddings are an adventure in themselves and add to the thrill of a secret wedding in India and you will understand exactly what we're talking about!
5. No meddling relatives.
There's only 2 reasons relatives go to a wedding, and we're not talking about the close, nice variety. One is to judge what the bride and groom are wearing and how pathetic the jodi looks; and second is to criticise the food. No matter what you do at a wedding, you can never, ever satisfy the relatives. Plus, relatives will always have tips and pointers for how a thing should be done or should not be done. You can gash your teeth in frustration but they won't budge. And your poor parents won't really have any option but to listen to what the "elders" say. Seriously, a relatives-free wedding can be pure bliss!
6. No social evils at your wedding.
When you elope, the guy in question knows he is definitely not getting any dowry. He elopes with you because he loves you, not for ulterior motives. And the bride understands that she's marrying the guy, not an ATM machine. Marriages where the partners elope are generally hassle free and the couple is away from social evils.
However, before you elope, do remember that this is India. There might be people who will track you down and make your life miserable. The "miya biwi raazi to kya karega kazi" quote sounds cool, but for those living in the interiors, it really is not.
7. Your partner is a partner for life.
Eloping is not easy. The bride and groom need to give up a lot - their parents, families, lifestyles and sometimes even the city/place of work to elope and make their marriage work. But they also need to realise that their partner is truly theirs. Come what may, they know the partner will stand by them, always. The partner has the guts to stand up for his/her love and is willing to do everything to secure their future and happiness. There's no other proof you need.
8. It's cool.
Honestly, it is. It's something crazy and adventurous, that will make you feel like a rebel. You will always be the 'cool' ones among your friends and once your family accepts your decision (it does happen eventually), you can all sit together and laugh over it. Eloping, if done for the right reasons is a pretty cool step to take. Trust us, your kids will look up to you and go 'whoa!' always!
9. Your wedding, your way.
You make the rules at your wedding. You are the only one who plans and executes. The responsibility is your own. There's no blame game to be played at a later date if by chance, things don't work out. You want to do it in a temple or a courtroom or a church, it is your choice. There's no one telling you to do a million things you don't understand or chant mantras and songs that simply make no sense. You make the decisions and stick by them. Doesn't matter if it is just the two of you doing your pheras by a candle and then going get yourself registered. As long as you're happy, that is all that matters.
10. No planning for months.
A wedding, if you've ever seen one up close, is a long, tedious affair. Getting an interview with the President might be easier but booking a wedding hall is an impossible task, and finishing all the shopping never ends. Brides, grooms and families start planning the wedding months in advance and the saving up begins years before. There's no need for an elaborate plan before eloping. You just need to fix up on the time and date and the method of sneaking out of the house. Sorted!
11. Freedom to wear what you want or have your own rituals.
Have you ever rolled your eyes when your parents forbade you from wearing a particular colour/type of dress at 'auspicious' functions? Well, for the wedding, get married in a BLACK t-shirt or jeans or wear a backless choli. Nobody will really care. You can wear what you want, the way you want it. Also, you can have your own rituals. If you feel a particular ritual is not for you or you are against it, you can just skip it. There's no pressure.
12. Have a f*ck awesome honeymoon.
With all the money you saved up avoiding that big, fat, expensive wedding, just pack your bags and go for a long honeymoon to your dream location. Considering the fact that a simple, budget wedding will still cost you anywhere from 3 lakhs to 10 lakhs minimum, you can tour all of Europe and the US with parts of Africa inserted in that amount. And trust us, spending on a honeymoon is much better than spending on a wedding, of which no one ever remembers anything except how bad the food was and how hideous the bride's lehenga looked.
13. Save up for the future.
If you decide to not splurge, we guarantee, you will still have enough money left to begin a happy life together. Invest the amount wisely and save up for the future. A wedding in India is more of a headache for families than joy because of all the expenses involved. Elopement means hardly any expense and the bride and groom can actually save up for their future. They might even be able to buy that coveted house, despite property prices in India!
14. Your wedding will be legen-wait for it-dary.
It will. You and the world will remember it forever. And your kids will love you for being so 'daring and cool'. Plus, they will know that their parents are really understanding when it comes to matters of the heart or otherwise and might just share things with you more easily!
15. No breaking head over the guest-list and bridesmaids.
At any Indian wedding, who to invite and who can be skipped forms the most important question. You might not want to invite that long lost aunt who you or your parents haven't seen since you were maybe 1 month old but still, she once upon a time invited you to her son's wedding. And so you have to invite her. And well, for the bride it is always a confusion about which of her cousins or friends she should choose for her bridesmaids. You solve all the hassles by deciding to elope. Only a few chosen friends/cousins will know of your plans and just one among them, the bridesmaid. Your wedding, your call. Oh and absolutely no cheek pinching aunties!
16. No photo-bombers.
Photo-bombers can seriously ruin wedding albums! And at your wedding, there will be more people taking selfies than letting the photographer do the job. In all the photo craze, the poor bride and groom are probably just shunned aside. Now, there are no such hassles if you decide to elope. And for those who think, just because you eloped, you won't have pics, think again! You can hire a special photographer and do a wedding shoot. Plus, you have all the time in the world with no Pundit breathing down your neck asking you to hurry up. You can click crazy funny pictures and no one will care!
17. Know who your real friends are.
It is at such times you realise who will stand by you and accompany you to court to be your witnesses. Or who can keep the secret from your family and society. You just cannot elope without some help and it is only your true friends who will stand by you at this tough time. However fun it might sound, weddings are a serious affair and especially for the bride when she does not have any family or support by her. It is only these friends who will stand by you at such times.
18. No tons of unwanted gifts.
No cookers, mixers, juicers, stupid coupons, terrible clothes, Rs 100 envelopes, etc, etc. Just imagine!
19. No post-wedding rituals that suck the life out of you.
Oh yes, this. Like the wedding wasn't enough, the bride and groom barely get a day off and they have to begin the process of rites and rituals all over again. There's no such hassles if you decide to elope and you can live in peace, just de-stress post your wedding and enjoy the honeymoon. No need to dress almost like a bride everyday and be judged for everything wrong you did as you were too tired and sleepless from your hectic wedding schedule.
20. You'll continue to glow even post the wedding.
The pre-wedding glow generally ebbs right after the wedding thanks to all the stress and running around. And sometimes, it is thanks to bad make-up quality or the glaring lights. However, since you are pretty relaxed post eloping, there's no fear of your glow dimming. In fact, you'll glow even more thanks to 'love' and all that.
21. No weight issues post wedding.
This is one problem all Indian brides and grooms face. They diet for months leading to the wedding to get that perfect figure and as soon as the wedding is done? Well, the lunch and dinner invites from friends and relatives start pouring in. And the couple just can't say 'no'. Even if they try to say no, they are just pushed into eating more and finishing everything. It invariably results in amazing weight gain. Wedding food, plus rich food by relatives, plus a fortnight of binge-eating on your honeymoon. Result? You feel like a mini-elephant. No such hassles with an elopement as you don;t have a 1000 relatives to visit. Cook your own food and eat and stay healthy!
22. Show society how much it actually matters.
Which is not at all. This is the best way to show society that no one really cares about those stupid chaar log. And that you are your own master. In your face, hypocrites!
(Source: India Times)
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