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Wednesday, 8 February 2017

How it feels to be a 30+ single woman trying for an arranged marriage in India

I am a 30+ single girl and I've spent the past 4 years trying to find a groom for myself.

I've met more than 100 guys. Some are totally confused and some are super excited to get married. When you talk to a person, there's something you get to know about him or her. Honestly, I tried a lot to understand a guy's perspective when it comes to marriage. I failed.

Let me tell you, it's difficult to find love in an arranged setting. It's funny, because it's like going on a blind date to find your life partner. I was the unfortunate one who fell in love once. The guy got married long time ago. First, it took me around 1.5 years to get over him and to start afresh. Then I had to listen to a few aunties and uncles telling my parents,

"Your daughter is too old for our son, we are looking for younger, immature girls."

Did they just say immature? Yes they did, for their son who was 34+. The expectations of a guy's family are berserk — first they want an "immature girl" for their son and then they want the girl to become a mature lady overnight.

Few parents also said to my parents, "Itna kyu padha dia aapne apni beti ko, dekhiye mushkil to hoga aapko. Itna nahi padhaate to shayad abhi tak shaadi ho jati." Suddenly, with these statements, the number of years a girl's studied are equal to the number of years she wasted for marriage.

Another uncle said to my parents, "Is your daughter really 56 kgs, she looks a bit fat no?" That was officially the funniest thing I had heard coming from a prospective groom's father. Uncle, did you notice your son's balding head yet or no? Poor guy is not finding any girl because of your silly questions!

But trust me, elders are much better than the boys who need to get married. Here are a few idiots I met and what they said:

"I will marry you only if you drink along with me."

"I will marry you only if, you know, I have that feeling for you. For that, I might need to take you to bed before I decide." These include a few IIM graduates.

He comes to meet you, orders everything he wants on the menu without asking for your preference. And then he suddenly gets a phone call, attends that for 20 minutes, comes back and says sorry, says "You ask questions" and when you ask something, he says, "My cab is here!"

Meeting for the first time, asks you, "Where would you go for your honeymoon?"

Loves talking on the phone but when you come in front of him, he goes "Mummmyyy".

"Our kundalis don't match yaar."

"Just had a break up in Feb, March my mom and dad asked me to meet you. I really like you but I can't proceed till I get over my ex."

Many many more to add to this list but I am sure, girls may have faced worse than this.

But men seriously, what do you want? A girl? Her money? Her looks? Her skills in bed? I mean how do you judge a girl who you meet in such a setting?

I am really confused!

(Source: Akkarbakkar)

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