The #MeToo movement must teach women to be responsible for themselves, not just ride the online sisterhood.
Perhaps for the first time women are tasting the power of being believed. But, with power comes responsibility – and leaders of the #MeToo movement must ensure that this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity gets converted to life-long benefits for women’s causes.
That can be managed only if we take a good, objective look at how the movement is unfolding and ensure a balanced and fair process. As of now there are some areas of grey and plenty of high concern.
The biggest concern of course is of the movement devolving into a battle of the sexes rather than a revolt against predatory culture. The second is that some men may be falsely accused of sexual harassment or worse. The third is that men may retaliate by denying women work opportunities. And the fourth fear is the new tension at workplaces where there is awareness that gender dynamics has changed irrevocably. The fifth fear is that we may be offering young girls the wrong kind of role model!
In all fairness, we cannot allow #MeToo to devolve into a mass hysteria against men. Nor can we allow it to be used by men to ostracize women within workplaces. The moment we decide to believe all women and disbelieve all men, we make it a battle of the sexes. And that has the scary potential of turning the clock back. While we must support allegations of genuine harassment and molestation, we must also stand up against women who make false allegations.
Not all cases are genuine. The problem is that a man is deemed a criminal the moment even one female finger is pointed at him. He stands to lose his job, his reputation, and his family. And ironically the punishment we are doling out is the same for the man who touched a woman’s elbow or shoulder and the one who felt her up, forcibly kissed or raped her! How can that be fair?
There is no clear definition of the #MeToo crimes. Seeing the lionization of #MeToo survivors, other women feel encouraged to rifle through their own lives, looking for their #MeToo moments. As a result, along with genuine cases, there have been some ridiculous ones.
Little wonder then that men are confused, wary, and even scared. Women are scared too. As with any tsunami, #MeToo will also leave us with wreckage that needs to be cleared. Broken men, homes and families, yes. But also confused men and women – some genuinely, others because it suits them to be so.
Traces of that are already visible. Men are growing resentful. Women who can see this are worried that #MeToo may lead to another kind of harassment – discrimination at work on gender basis. After all, some men in professional circles – lawyers, doctors, architects, journalists – are already talking openly about not hiring female interns. A girl who takes tuitions with a male tutor was sent back home because she was the only girl present in class that day! A male colleague was heard saying, “Only a mad man will ask out a girl for coffee now!”
Now, for a moment, take a contrarian view — the women we are hailing as heroines and survivors are those who did not stand up for themselves when they should have. That is not the icon young girls today need. These survivors must be supported, but let us not mistake them for role models. They did what they thought was right then. The good thing is they found their voice finally, which will help lay the foundation of tomorrow’s empowered woman who will push back forcibly and physically any man who makes an unwanted pass at her. Empowered womanhood must be celebrated, not female victimhood!
Why don’t the strong women who are supporting #MeToo –or even those who are speaking against the movement — not have #MeToo stories to share? Because they were always strong enough to push back unwanted advances without any fear or consideration – right there and then!
These are the women who have to ensure that #MeToo is fair and balanced and rather than antagonizing men, ensures a dialogue and progress in the right direction. Women must be taught to be responsible for themselves and to speak up and defend themselves forcefully, fairly and at the right time!
(Source: ToI)
Perhaps for the first time women are tasting the power of being believed. But, with power comes responsibility – and leaders of the #MeToo movement must ensure that this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity gets converted to life-long benefits for women’s causes.
That can be managed only if we take a good, objective look at how the movement is unfolding and ensure a balanced and fair process. As of now there are some areas of grey and plenty of high concern.
The biggest concern of course is of the movement devolving into a battle of the sexes rather than a revolt against predatory culture. The second is that some men may be falsely accused of sexual harassment or worse. The third is that men may retaliate by denying women work opportunities. And the fourth fear is the new tension at workplaces where there is awareness that gender dynamics has changed irrevocably. The fifth fear is that we may be offering young girls the wrong kind of role model!
In all fairness, we cannot allow #MeToo to devolve into a mass hysteria against men. Nor can we allow it to be used by men to ostracize women within workplaces. The moment we decide to believe all women and disbelieve all men, we make it a battle of the sexes. And that has the scary potential of turning the clock back. While we must support allegations of genuine harassment and molestation, we must also stand up against women who make false allegations.
Not all cases are genuine. The problem is that a man is deemed a criminal the moment even one female finger is pointed at him. He stands to lose his job, his reputation, and his family. And ironically the punishment we are doling out is the same for the man who touched a woman’s elbow or shoulder and the one who felt her up, forcibly kissed or raped her! How can that be fair?
There is no clear definition of the #MeToo crimes. Seeing the lionization of #MeToo survivors, other women feel encouraged to rifle through their own lives, looking for their #MeToo moments. As a result, along with genuine cases, there have been some ridiculous ones.
Little wonder then that men are confused, wary, and even scared. Women are scared too. As with any tsunami, #MeToo will also leave us with wreckage that needs to be cleared. Broken men, homes and families, yes. But also confused men and women – some genuinely, others because it suits them to be so.
Traces of that are already visible. Men are growing resentful. Women who can see this are worried that #MeToo may lead to another kind of harassment – discrimination at work on gender basis. After all, some men in professional circles – lawyers, doctors, architects, journalists – are already talking openly about not hiring female interns. A girl who takes tuitions with a male tutor was sent back home because she was the only girl present in class that day! A male colleague was heard saying, “Only a mad man will ask out a girl for coffee now!”
Now, for a moment, take a contrarian view — the women we are hailing as heroines and survivors are those who did not stand up for themselves when they should have. That is not the icon young girls today need. These survivors must be supported, but let us not mistake them for role models. They did what they thought was right then. The good thing is they found their voice finally, which will help lay the foundation of tomorrow’s empowered woman who will push back forcibly and physically any man who makes an unwanted pass at her. Empowered womanhood must be celebrated, not female victimhood!
Why don’t the strong women who are supporting #MeToo –or even those who are speaking against the movement — not have #MeToo stories to share? Because they were always strong enough to push back unwanted advances without any fear or consideration – right there and then!
These are the women who have to ensure that #MeToo is fair and balanced and rather than antagonizing men, ensures a dialogue and progress in the right direction. Women must be taught to be responsible for themselves and to speak up and defend themselves forcefully, fairly and at the right time!
(Source: ToI)
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