The Twilight Saga: Can anyone answer these questions?

I found some interesting unanswered questions about all the five Twilight films -- Twilight, The Twilight Saga: New Moon, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 1, and The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2 – which make over 10 hours of vampire drama, werewolf angst, and very gooey dialogues. I often wondered if only I get such silly doubts, but no, there are others who also get such doubts.

Here are some questions that were raised on Buzzfeed.com. Enjoy.

Twilight (2008)

1. Who let Jacob leave the house with that hair?

2. Why is everyone so attracted to the Cullens when their defining characteristic seems to be stankface?

3. Are Bella’s friends always this boring, or are they just being extra dull to provide a contrast with the exciting vampires?

4. Why don’t the evil vampires make stankfaces?

5. Are vampires actually great drivers, or are they just dicks on the road?

6. In this day and age, do we still need an internet research montage?

7. Why does Edward call his sparkly skin the “skin of a killer” when it’s clearly the skin of a unicorn?

8. When Edward calls Bella his “own personal brand of heroin,” is that supposed to be a compliment?

9. How are the lion and the lamb supposed to consummate their relationship?

10. Is “spider monkey” really a term of endearment?

11. Why isn’t Bella more freaked out when she learns that Edward has been watching her sleep?

12. Where did the old-timey baseball uniforms come from?

13. Does Bella really regret NOTHING when she’s about to die? Like, what about walking into a fatal trap?

14. How do vampire heads pop off so easily? Are they all that fragile?

15. Why is a teenager so eager to spend eternity with her first serious boyfriend?

The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

16. Why did Jacob take the time to get buff if he wasn’t also going to fix his hair?

17. Has a papercut ever caused this much trouble?

18. If the Cullens can just not go to school when they don’t feel like, why do they bother going to school at all?

19. Does Bella eat or shower or move during her depression montage?

20. What is the movie Love Spelled Backwards Is Love about?

21. Could Bella not come up with a better response to Laurent saying he was going to kill her than “Please don’t”?

22. Does Jacob have an infinite supply of shirts to ruin when he turns into a wolf?

23. Are we supposed to just accept that Emily’s werewolf boyfriend Sam mauled her face because he was pissed off? How is this even remotely OK?

24. How can this many giant wolves not take out a single vampire?

25. Why does Jacob stop himself from kissing Bella just because the phone rings? Those are two unrelated actions.

26. Shouldn’t Edward verify that Bella is dead before killing himself?

27. With that cackle, did Aro really have any options besides villainy?

28. Will Edward’s shiny skin really out him as a vampire or just someone who wears a lot of body glitter?

29. Why does Bella offer to sacrifice herself to save Edward when she knows that he’ll just commit suicide if she dies?

30. If in the end Bella and Edward are back together and promise never to leave each other again, what was the point of this movie?

31. But seriously, when was the last time Jacob wore a shirt?

32. Why the hell does a century-old vampire propose to a teenage girl?

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)

33. Why does Bella still care about school when she’s going to become a vampire as soon as she graduates?

34. Is Edward as bored by Bella’s lame friends as I am?

35. When did Victoria become a different actress?

36. What is “imprinting” and couldn’t werewolves have picked a less gross word?

37. Would Jacob be less grumpy if he knew that Bella and Edward weren’t having sex?

38. Shouldn’t Jacob apologize for kissing Bella against her will? And for hurting her hand with his face?

39. Is Bella even listening to Jessica’s graduation speech about how dumb it is to decide what you want for the rest of your life at 18?

40. Wouldn’t the practice fight scene have been improved if they were all naked?

41. How is Jacob so sure that Bella is into him? Were her repeated and straightforward rejections not enough?

42. Why is Edward so grossly obsessed with Bella’s purity?

43. How is a ring any consolation for not getting laid?

44. Isn’t body warmth reason enough to choose the werewolf over the vampire?

45. Why does Bella suddenly decide to kiss Jacob? And how is Edward totally cool with it?

46. What was the point of giving Bree a backstory if the Volturi were just going to kill her?

47. Does Jacob honestly think believe dating him would be just as easy as breathing? He’s a WEREWOLF.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 1 (2011)

48. Why does Jacob even bother putting a shirt on if he’s just going to angrily pull it off?

49. Is Edward’s secret dark past really just that he used to kill very bad people? Because honestly who cares.

50. Could Bella and Edward maybe kiss less intensely in front of their family and friends?

51. Why has everyone taken it upon themselves to worry about Bella’s virginity?

52. Is it supposed to be romantic or horrifying when Edward breaks the bed during sex?

53. Did no one consider the unsettling domestic abuse connotations when Bella is covered in bruises after her first night with Edward?

54. How is Edward still turning down Bella when she’s literally begging for sex?

55. What is this weird pro-life message about the fetus being a baby doing in the middle of my vampire movie?

56. Why is Bella so insistent on going through with the pregnancy even after Carlisle reveals that it’s slowly killing her?

57. Does drinking blood through a straw really make it more palatable?

58. How is Charlie not demanding to see her daughter while she suffers from a mysterious illness?

59. If Edward is telepathically communicating with the fetus, couldn’t he ask it nicely to stop killing his wife?

60. How is everyone pretending that Renesmee isn’t the worst name conceivable?

61. Why does Edward have to perform the C-section with his teeth? Isn’t that incredibly unhygienic?

62. On a scale of 1 to 10, how dead is Bella exactly?

63. Why does Edward bite all over his beloved’s corpse?

64. Seriously, though, how is imprinting different from falling in love, because I’m pretty sure Jacob just fell in love with that baby?

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2 (2012)

65. Does being a vampire give you the power to zoom and enhance?

66. Is Jacob totally over Bella now that he’s crushing on her baby?

67. Why is Renesmee such a CGI abomination?

69. Why doesn’t Charlie run screaming when he sees this?

70. Can Renesmee fly?

71. How am I supposed to keep track of all these new vampires? There are EIGHTEEN.

72. Why did it take five movies to get to Lee Pace?

73. Can any other vampires shoot lightning from their fingertips? Are vampires basically X-Men now?

74. Is there anything more frightening than Aro attempting to express joy?

75. Is Carlisle really dead? (No.)

76. Is Jasper really dead? (No.)

77. Is Jane really dead? (No.)

78. Is Aro really dead? (No.)

79. If no one actually died, what was the point of that BIG CLIMACTIC BATTLE THAT NEVER EVEN HAPPENED?

80. Will Jacob bother waiting till Renesmee’s 18 if she’s going to be fully grown at 7?

81. Do we really need a flashback to the wedding already?

82. Whose awful idea was it to conclude the movie with this?

November events in Qatar

November is here and some cool stuff that have happened and are going to happen in Qatar this month.

November 1: Redbull Flugtag Qatar

November 3: TECHTalks

November 5-27: Noon Reports: Qatar to South Hook at Katara

November 7-8: DFI's screening of Le Grand Voyage

November 8: Woofstock - outdoor dog show and festival

November 9: International Holiday Bazaar; Doha Drawathon; How Women Find Work Conference

November 10: MOVEMBER SUCQd Comedy Show

November 10-15: Qatar Classic Squash Championship at Khalifa International Tennis and Squash Complex

November 11-12: Qatar International Business Women Forum

November 12-16: Qatar International Boat Show

November 13: Jazz in the Park

November 13-16: Aqua Bike Grand Prix of Qatar

November 14: Scotland Day

November 14: Beach Party- Laidback Luke Live in Doha

November 14: Laidback Luke live in Intercontinental beach

November 14-15: Qatar National Street Drag Championship

November 14-16: The World As You See It” Workshop by Masood Al Bolouchi at Katara

November 14-16: World Luxury Expo

November 15: World Diabetes Walkathon; Mountain Bike Race for typhoon relief

November 15: Alka Yagnik and Kumar Sanu live at West End Park

November 15: Indian Classical Vocal concert by Trichur brothers, Srikrishna Mohan and Ramkumar Mohan, at Ras Laffan Hall, Concorde Hotel

November 19-23: Third Traditional Dhow Festival at Katara Beach

November 26-30: Ajyal Film Festival

November 27-30: Adam and Selina

November 28-29: A Passage to India festival at MIA Park

​November 28-December 2: Barney Let's go! Live on stage!

November 29-30: Qatar Mile

Have a great November!

7 ridiculous restrictions on women’s rights around the world

Found an interesting topic on the Washington Post.

With Saudi Arabian women behind the wheel since Saturday to protest their country's refusal to grant driver's licenses to women, they’re challenging not only long-standing restriction, but also a the larger system of Saudi Arabian gender-based laws, some of the harshest in the world.

According to one measurement, though, there are actually several countries that rank lower on women;s rights than Saudi Arabia. The World Economic Forum, which publishes the preeminent ranking on gender gap issues, ranked Saudi Arabia 10th from the bottom in its 2013 report -- ahead of Mali, Morocco, Iran, Cote d’Ivoire, Mauritania, Syria, Chad, Pakistan and Yemen. Women’s rights abuses are by no means limited to North Africa, West Africa or the Middle East, though that’s where we tend to hear such stories most frequently.

“A lot of the most severe stuff comes out of legal or de facto guardianship systems,” said Rothna Begum, a researcher who tracks women’s rights in the Middle East and North Africa for the advocacy group Human Rights Watch.

But she adds that, especially in Saudi Arabia, “things are modernizing.”

Here are nine other remarkable legal restrictions against women, from Asia to Latin America :

1. India (some parts): Road safety rules don’t apply to women. In some states of India, women are excepted from safety rules that mandate motorcycle passengers wear helmets -- an exemption that kills or injures thousands each year. Women’s rights advocates have argued the exemption springs from a culture-wide devaluation of women’s lives. Supporters of the ban say they’re just trying to preservewomen’s carefully styled hair and make-up -- which isn’t exactly a feminist response.

2. Yemen: A woman is considered only half a witness. That’s the policy on legal testimony in Yemen, where a woman is not, to quote a 2005 Freedom House report, “recognized as a full person before the court.” In general, a single woman’s testimony isn’t taken seriously unless it’s backed by a man’s testimony or concerns a place or situation where a man would not be. And women can’t testify at all in cases of adultery, libel, theft or sodomy.

3. Saudi Arabia and Vatican City: Women can’t vote... still. This is amazingly the case in Saudi Arabia, though a royal decree, issued in 2011, will let women vote in Saudi elections in 2015. Vatican City is the only other country that allows men, but not women, to vote.

4. Ecuador: Abortion is illegal, unless you’re an “idiot.” Begum says this is the policy in Ecuador, where abortions have long been outlawed for everyone but “idiots” and the “demented.” Politicians are considering a policy with the more politely worded term “mentally ill,” but that won’t change abortion’s legal status in Ecuador -- or, more importantly, the fact that the law is frequently used to criminalize miscarriages.

5. Saudi Arabia and Morocco: Rape victims can be charged with crimes. Many, many countries fail to protect the victims of rape, but some go a step further -- punishing women for leaving the house without a male companion, for being alone with an unrelated man, or for getting pregnant afterwards. The most infamous case may be Saudi Arabia’s “Qatif girl,” but a recent suicide in Morocco also made headlines -- 16-year-old Amina Filali killed herself after a judge forced her to marry her alleged rapist, in keeping with a policy that invalidates statutory rape charges if the parties marry.

6. Yemen: Women can’t leave the house without their husbands’ permission. Yemen, where this law remains in force, does allow for a few emergency exceptions, Begum says: if the woman must rush out to care for her ailing parents, for instance.

7. Saudi Arabia: Women can't drive. Read more about the ban and how women are challenging it here.

The good news? According to the World Economic Forum’s most recent gender gap report, equality has made “modest” gains in the Middle East. And Begum, of Human Rights Watch, says there’s lots of agitation for more change.

“Women in Saudi Arabia are highly educated and qualified,” she said. “They don’t want to be left in the dark.” 

5 things you should know before dating a journalist

Found this article by Tom Chambers on Rockmycar. Enjoy. 

So, you’ve been eyeing that smart, attractive journalist you’re lucky enough to know personally. You’re intrigued. Your journalist is smart, funny, confident. Visions of Clark Kent taking off the glasses and ripping off his clothes to reveal a perfectly toned body in blue spandex coming to save you run through your head.

Who can blame you? Journalism is a sexy occupation.

But journalists aren’t like the bimbos you usually pick up at the bar. Nor are they the assholes you ladies continually fall for. No, journalists are different beings (which is why you’re attracted to them in the first place), and you should realize — before jumping in — that this isn’t going to be a run-of-the-mill, boring, lame relationship you’re used to.

Here’s what you need to know:

1. We can figure things out. Understand, we’re paid to dig deep, find the secrets and wade through bullshit. We can pick up on subtleties, so what you think you are hiding from us won’t be hidden for long. Sure, we’ll act surprised when you eventually tell us you starred in German porn as a freshman in college — but we already knew.

We don’t take shit from anyone, so don’t lie to us or give a load of bullshit. We spend all day separating fact from fiction, listening to PR cronies and dealing with slimy politicians. If you make us do the same with you, you’re just gonna piss us off. And don’t think we’ll be quiet about it. We’ll respond with the vengeance of an Op-Ed page railing against society’s injustices — and we’ll enjoy doing it.

Just tell us the truth. We can handle it.

2. At some point, you will be a topic. Either through a feature story or an opinion column, something you do or say will be a subject. Get over it. Consider it a compliment, even if we’re arguing against you in print.

Think about it: we live our lives writing about life. If you’re a part of our life, we’re going to write about you, your thoughts or a subject springing from one of the two.

Don’t be upset when an argument against your adoration of Hillary Clinton turns up on page A4. We’re not directing the writing at you, personally — your ignorance was just our inspiration (there, doesn’t that make you feel better?).

3. Yes, we think we’re smarter than you. In fact, we know it. Does that smack of ego? Absolutely — but that confidence is what makes your heart go pitter-patter.

We have a strong, working knowledge of how the world works. That makes us great in conversation. We can delve into the intricacies of zoning laws, local and national politics, where to find the good restaurants, what’s happening with pop culture, where the good bands are playing and more.

But there are pitfalls.

Guaranteed, when you say “towards,” we will automatically say “toward” — “towards” is not a word. We’re not trying to call you dumb (even though you don’t understand the English language), it’s habit. The same will happen when you say “anxious” when you mean “eager” and when you answer “good” when someone asks how you are doing.

We carry ourselves with a certain arrogant air. Embrace it (that’s what attracted you to us in the first place, after all). Don’t be surprised if we’re not impressed when you say, “I’m a writer, too.” No, you are not. The fact that you sit in a coffee shop wearing black while scribbling in your journal does not make you a writer. Nor does the fact that you “wrote some poems in high school” or that one day you want to pen “the great American novel.”

Look, we’re paid to write. Every day. What’s more, our writing matters. It changes opinions, affects decisions and connects people with the world around them.

We’re not spewing our angst or trying to fabricate an aura of creativity. We write about the real world — with real consequences.

Our words go through three or four cranky editors who make us rewrite before it’s printed a few hundred thousand times and distributed all over town. You don’t do that unless you’re confident, even egotistical.

You may have some great journal entries, poems and rudimentary short stories — good for you. Just don’t assume we’ll accept that as on par with what we do (unless you’re really hot, then hell, you’re a better writer than I).

4. You’re not less important than the job — the job is just more important than anything else. One doesn’t become a journalist to sit in an office from 9 to 5 Monday through Friday.

We do take our work home. If news is happening, we’ll drop whatever we’re doing — even if it’s with you — to cover it. We’re always looking for stories, so yes, we’ll stop on the street to write something down, interview a passer-by or gather information for a lead.

On that same note, don’t get upset if you call us on deadline suggesting some afternoon nookie and we say, “I’ve got to put the paper to bed first.” That could mean hours from now, but we’ll have plenty of time to put you in bed later.

5. You won’t be disappointed. Journalists are intense, driven, passionate folk. We carry those same attributes into our relationships, making it an extremely fun ride well worth the price of admission. Our lives are never boring and each day is different.

If the pitfalls are scaring you away, consider this:

The fact that we’re inquisitive means we’ll listen to you. Even if it does seem like an interview, we’re paying attention to what you have to say (see rule No. 1).

We’ll write about you or your thoughts because you’re an important part of our life and we care about you (see rule No. 2).

Our brains are a great resource. Ever go on a date with an attractive person and wind up wishing you hadn’t because everything they say is just, well, stupid? That’s not going to happen here (see rule No. 3).

Yes, it may seem that we put the job ahead of you, but we’re driven. You’re not with that loser whose life is going nowhere and who’s completely content being mediocre (see rule No. 4).

There you go, five things you should know before dating a journalist. Feel free to add to the list, point out where I’ve missed something or leave a comment. And yes, ladies, I’m single (see rule No. 5).

Book Review: How It Happened

I had written a review of How It Happened by Shazaf Fatima Haider in Kannada for Sakhi magazine (August 15-30, 2013) and here's the gist of it in English. Read the original review in Kannada here.  

They say a good novel should change our minds. Characters in such novels get very close to the readers without their knowledge. As the story unfolds readers feel that they are part of it. Many authors have brought out such novels in the recent years and one such successful attempt has been made by Shazaf Fatima Haider from our neighbouring country Pakistan.  

For writers and film producers, be it from Bollywood, Tollywood, Kollywood or Sandalwood, Indian families and weddings are like a Pandora box. They never fail to give them an impressive plot that can make a director to come up with a 3-hour film. It is evident that the subject draws similar kind of attention even in our neighbouring country. However, Shazaf Fatima Haider’s debut novel How it Happened (2012) not only entertains Pakistani readers, but also Indians.

There are several similarities between both the countries when it comes to culture, tradition and food -- after all both made a single nation before 1947. Arranged marriages rule both the countries. Though there are love marriages, it is the arranged marriages, fixed by elders which rule the roost. And this is the subject of this novel.

The narrator of this novel is 16-year-old Saleha Bandian. Dadi, Ammi, Abbu, elder brother Haroon bhai and elder sister Zeba baaji are other major characters. The plot revolves around the marriages of Haroon bhai and Zeba baji.

Saleha informs readers about the tradition of arranged marriages in her Bandian family. “The Bandians of Bhakuraj, true to their ancestral heritage, married not for love but because it happened to be convenient,” she explains.  

Readers get to know the wedding planner and the head of the family, Gul Bahar dadi in the first and the second chapters. The whole story would have been dull and monotonous without Dadi. There is humour and sympathy from the very beginning of the novel. The narrator’s keen eye for detail and wit is obvious when she sums up about her grandmother, “Dadi believed in a few basic things: spices, prayers and arranged marriages.”

As an elder, Dadi has her own ideas and imaginations about weddings, which will make readers to laugh throughout. She wants her grandchildren to get married according to her wishes and plans. She is quite “mordren” and allows prospective bride and groom to meet before the wedding, but she completely hates “dating-shating”.  

She adores her U.S.-educated returned grandson, Haroon, and wants him to marry a suitable girl, but when he rejects many of the girls, she gets disappointed. Dadi often gives instances to keep her grandchildren under control. Her anecdotes often referred to the positive aspects of arranged marriages. She gives the example of Pir Jan’s daughter who agreed to marry a grey haired Sufi saint, as he had saved the life of her father. Dadi praises her for being an obedient daughter. She doesn’t stop there. She gives another instance where daughters bring disgrace to the family, like a distant relative eloping with the son of a watchman and almost driving her mother to end life.

At any cost Dadi is not ready to allow her grandchildren bring disgrace to the family by derouting from the Shia-Sayed tradition. She feared that could bring her reputation down in front of her sister Qurrat-ul-Aine. Qurrat’s son had married an “Amreekan”, that was okay, but the fact that she was “not even a white one” was not fine!   

Dadi uses wedding proposals as her tools to control the family, but she also has two rebellious women in her family – one is her daughter, Fatima, who wears a bright red saree after the death of her husband, refusing to mourn, and another her granddaughter, Zeba, who not reads Bronte and Austen, but also helps Haroon to marry his lady love Saima besides choosing a Sunni boy for herself.

The humour touches its peak once Dadi gets to know about Zeba’s love affair. As Dadi calls her names, readers smile at her drama. Though her character reminds us of Austen’s Mrs Benette, her control, intelligence and power leave their own impression on readers.

The author has beautifully unraveled the complexities between the old and new generation. She has not only etched the characters, but also has become a voice through the narrator. Readers do not get bored and they can relate to the situations and characters at one point or the other, and Bandian family is no different from any real family.    

The titles of the chapters are tempting, making readers to look forward and never keep the book till the end. Each title -- “How Dadi Got Carried Away”, “How Haroon Was Tied to the Knot” or “How Dadi Extracted a Proposal Just in Time” -- generates curiosity as to know what happens next.

Dadi reminds us of our grandmothers: She is over-protective of her grandchildren for which readers develop love-hate relationship with her. Though we sympathise with Zeba’s plight, we will not hate Dadi, as we understand her concern.  She is the most memorable character in the novel.

The plot not only addresses women, but also men. It applies and amuses each and every man, who goes to see the girl, who asks silly questions, eats snacks and keeps her family in the waiting to give his green signal for the wedding.

The prose is catchy and the writing style is crisp and engaging. Wish narrator Saleha had narrated something more about herself, about her school, her friends, her feelings…